Caught in the act
by WinterStorrm
Summary: Merlin Emrys - now an Oscar winning movie star - returns to Camelot for the first time in 4 years, much to the horror of his cheating ex Arthur Pendragon. Modern AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Merlin belongs to the BBC, well the version this is based on anyway.**

**This is my first attempt at Merthur and slash (which it will be later on) so be kind to me.**

**Inspired by IceQueenRia's random facts before each chapter in 'Meddling with Magic' (great story) here's one about me:**

**I once had a 'hello how are you?' chat with John Barrowman pre his Dr Who/Torchwood days when he was someone vaguely familiar to me and I thought I knew him, thus starting the conversation. Doh.**

**Chapter 1**

"You'll never guess who's out there?" Morgana burst in through the kitchen door - fanning her face with her hand as it if was the height of summer and not the middle of December with threatening snow.

Arthur was cleaning up after the lunch rush and looking forward to the mid afternoon lull that the cafe could expect before it all started again around 5 o'clock.

Arthur, more than used to his step-sister's theatrics, wasn't feeling particularly like playing along but he knew better than to ignore her. "Go on Morgana, amaze me, who's out there? No, let me guess – Johnny Depp? Megan Fox?"

"Ha – you wish! This is better because we _know_ this person – go on, guess again!"

Arthur was starting to get a bad feeling. He didn't want to play along anymore. He knew the answer.

"Arthur, come on!" huffed Morgana, folding her arms impatiently across her chest and glaring at her brother.

Arthur ignored her and began scrubbing down the work surface as if his life depended on it; if he was right about who was outside in the cafe, his life _did_ depend on it.

"Argh, you're such a prat!" exclaimed Morgana. "It's Merlin Emrys! I nearly swooned when he came in. To think we used to go to school with him – _he's gorgeous_!"

Arthur carried on rubbing a hole in the worktop and ignored Morgana. "Aren't you even _curious_? You're such a loser Pendragon!" She flounced back the way she had come, her long dark hair billowing behind her.

Arthur stopped his furious scrubbing and threw down the cloth. Oh God. _Merlin Emrys. _

Four long years had passed since 18 year old Merlin Emrys had left Camelot to make pursue an acting career. Less than two years later, after a couple of supporting roles, he'd landed the lead in a big screen version of The Catcher in the Rye, to great acclaim, winning a Bafta for Best Leading Actor, shortly followed by an Oscar for the same. He was Camelot's very own 'Local Boy Makes Good', the townspeople loved him; everyone had a Merlin story.

Arthur had a Merlin story; four long years had passed since Merlin Emrys had caught his then boyfriend, Arthur Pendragon, in bed with someone else. He had left Camelot that day and had not returned. _Until today._

**A/N: Just a taster, longer chapters hereafter. Hope you like – please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: nope, I don't own Merlin.**

**Thank you for reviewing and setting alerts based on such a short chapter last time. This one is not as long as I had hoped either, but I hope it sets the scene.**

**Random fact about me #2: I have been a vegetarian since I was born and have never once eaten meat.**

**Chapter 2**

Arthur couldn't make up his mind. Brazen it out and go out front of house, see Merlin, get it over with? Or hide out in the kitchen like he was scared, which he kind of was if he was honest with himself. The desire to see Merlin, the invisible string that linked them, was being yanked so hard he was fighting a losing battle with himself. That tingling of his sixth sense that had put him on edge when he woke up this morning made sense now. Merlin was back.

Oh God – _Merlin_ was back. He'd thought he'd never see him again after what he'd done. Maybe this was his chance to make amends somehow? No, Merlin wouldn't want anything to do with him now, and why would he? Merlin was a mega rich world famous movie star with an A list girlfriend and a glittering future; whilst Arthur still lived in Camelot, worked for his Dad and had _cheated_ on Merlin. Arthur groaned, remembering Merlin's face when he'd walked in and found Arthur, stark naked, in bed with Sophia. It was the biggest mistake of his life.

"Earth to Arthur!" Arthur started; Morgana's head was poking around the kitchen door. "A little help out front would be useful. Word of our VIP customer has spread." Without waiting for his response, she was gone again. Crap, now he had no choice; he'd have to brave it out.

Running his fingers through his blond hair, Arthur checked his appearance in the small mirror someone had stuck to the fridge. His anxious blue eyes looked back at him. _What's with the nerves? You're Arthur Pendragon._ He straightened and walked confidently out of the kitchen door to the front of house.

The cafe was heaving, very busy for the time of day. It was immediately apparent where Merlin was, although Arthur couldn't see him, he was surrounded by hangers on, male and female alike; probably all claiming an acquaintance with him. Bloody hypocrites, thought Arthur bitterly - Merlin had been a social outcast at high school, his only friends the other weirdoes; united in their exile.

He busied himself being super barista, trying to ignore the pull in Merlin's direction, the temptation to fight his way through the rabble of Merlin's adoring fans to take him in his arms and kiss him. He had missed him like hell; the hole in his chest had never mended, he'd simply filled his life with college, work and, er – college and work. His life was shit. _You did this to yourself you fucking prat._

The first time he had spoken to Merlin had been right here in Pendragon's, five years ago. Arthur's father, Uther Pendragon, insisted that Arthur work in the cafe part-time in order to learn the business from the ground up. The cafe _was_ the ground, a very small cog in the Pendragon business empire; the fact was Uther had won the cafe in a game of poker and had decided to keep hold of it, another notch on his corporate bedpost. Arthur was heir to the empire having been groomed for this since birth; he'd never really had much choice in the matter. The one time he'd stood up to his father with regards to his future career prospects and his desire to study journalism – he and Merlin had planned to go to college in London and share a place together – it had been Arthur who had changed his mind; after Merlin had left he'd lost interest in writing and had studied business at Camelot College as his father wanted.

Merlin had been a regular in the cafe, he'd come in with his friends Will and Freya; they had a regular spot on the corner sofa where they would sit for hours drinking endless cups of coffee, doing homework, reading the paper and talking. Arthur was usually making coffee to the orders placed by the cashier, he loved the smell of the coffee and the routine relaxed him, it was a time he didn't have to think about the expectations on his shoulders.

It had been a rainy Friday afternoon; Arthur had gone to collect dirty crockery from the table by the window and laden down had been heading back to the counter when he'd collided headlong with the skinny dark haired boy he only knew as 'vanilla soy' – he'd lost his footing and fallen with a thump onto his backside. The boy had fussed around him, picking up the broken cups scattered on the floor, apologising profusely and an irate Arthur had opened his mouth the tell him to shut the fuck up when their eyes met. They had been the bluest eyes he had ever seen, even bluer than his own, darker and deeper. Arthur had been stunned into silence, taking the hand the boy had offered to help him to his feet, still looking into those eyes. "I'm so sorry, I can be such a klutz," Vanilla Soy had apologised with a crooked grin. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, er, no worries. Thanks for the hand." Arthur had wandered back the counter in a semi daze and told the cashier he was going for a quick break, leaning against the wall outside the kitchen door feeling like someone had punched him in the stomach, not understanding what had just happened to him; a reaction like that to a _guy_? He was totally 100% straight! His hand was tingling from contact with the boy, a sensation that confused Arthur's 17 year old brain; he'd stormed inside and washed his hands. When he'd gone back out front after his break, the boy had gone and Arthur's heart had sunk.

Looking back at it, how sweet and innocent that encounter now seemed. How had it all gone to shit?

* * * *

Merlin had clocked Arthur the moment he stepped out of the kitchen. The same corn blond hair and sky blue eyes, a little older, a tad more muscular; the same arrogant 'I can do whatever the hell I like' expression. His lips tightened. Arthur had obviously heard he was here; what would he do? Merlin was prepared to wait it out.

"Does Pendragon still work here?" he asked his friend Will, the two of them having decided to pop into their old haunt on the way from the airport. Will had moved back to Camelot to be with Freya who was a nurse at the local hospital. Merlin was here to attend their wedding and was combining that with Christmas so he could spend some time with his Mum; he didn't see as much of her as he would have liked.

"Sometimes," replied Will with a scowl; he had never liked Arthur, and he hadn't even _known_ about the nature of Merlin's relationship with him. "Morgana manages the place, Arthur fills in occasionally I think, when he's not playing hot shot businessman with his father. Uther's still pulling his strings."

"Interesting," mused Merlin, watching Arthur making coffee through a gap in the throng that surrounded him, all simpering at him and trying to draw him into conversation like he was a long lost friend. He did some autographs and had his photo taken with a few 'fans', some of whom were vaguely familiar, probably from that hovel of a high school, the rest he had never seen before in his life; yet they seemed to feel free to put their arms around him or grab his bum. He was too distracted by watching Arthur work to really care; he couldn't deny that Arthur was still far too beautiful than any man deserved to be.

He wondered if Arthur was with anyone at the moment. Not that he was going to let that stop him going ahead with his plan; any boy or girlfriend in the picture were just going to be collateral damage, as he had once been.

Merlin Emrys hated Arthur Pendragon with a compelling intensity.

"Another coffee Will?" he asked his friend, already standing rummaging in his pocket for some change. Will grinned and Merlin wove his way through his 'groupies', nodding and smiling politely in response to their repetitive platitudes; 'Merlin, I'm your biggest fan / I've seen all your films / You're sooo talented' (delete as required).

Arthur had seen him now; he was a frozen rabbit in the headlights that were Merlin's eyes, watching him approach with a carton of milk in one hand and a jug in the other. Merlin smiled his friendliest smile; he was an Oscar winning actor, he could play this role with ease. "Hello Arthur," he began as he reached the counter.

Arthur Pendragon was going to pay.

* * * *

**Urgh. Please be nice to me and review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: wish I did own Merlin, but I don't.**

**Cheers for reviews and alerts folks.**

**Random fact about me #3: I have one tattoo, got it for my 18th birthday, it's a triple Goddess spiral; as seen on the Druid's in Merlin. I got it well before the BBC reincarnated Arthurian legend. I love spirals.**

**Chapter 3**

Holy fuck, Merlin was approaching him. Arthur couldn't move, the signal from his brain to his legs that should be screaming 'Run!' seemed to have got lost, and he was frozen to the spot like some pathetic fan boy. His blue eyes widened – was Merlin _smiling_ at him?

"Hello Arthur," Merlin's soft pink lips were saying... _Snap out of it Arthur._ "It's been a long time; how are you?" Merlin was asking him about his wellbeing? Was he dreaming?

Contrasting blue eyes clashed and Arthur swallowed nervously. _Say something you fool._ "Merlin, er... hi," he managed, inwardly cursing himself. "I'm good, thank you. Er, how what brings you to Camelot?" _Smooth Arthur, real smooth._

"Will and Freya's wedding is next week, and then Christmas with my Mom." He smiled. "I'll be around for a few weeks. We should catch up while I'm back – if you want to?"

Merlin wanted to meet up with him? Arthur wanted to punch the air. "I'd like that," he responded, wondering when he had become so formal.

"Great," smiled Merlin, rummaging in his jeans pocket and pulling out an iPhone. "What's your number?"

Arthur parroted his mobile number, watching Merlin's graceful fingers as he tapped the digits into the phone. "Thanks," he pocketed the phone again, grinning at Arthur, reminding him of 17 year old Merlin all those years ago; his heart skipped. "I'll be in touch."

He walked away, back over to where Will was waiting for him, his head in _The Guardian_. Arthur admired the way his jeans emphasised his bum; Merlin's fashion sense had certainly improved in the intervening years.

Realising he was staring, Arthur retreated back into the kitchen and burst out of the back door, taking deep breaths of the cool air. What had that been about? He hadn't expected a friendly Merlin, one who wanted to 'catch up'. He welcomed it, but he didn't understand it. He wondered if Merlin would actually call. Would he accept the invite? He didn't know if he wanted to do this to himself; he'd never forgiven himself for what he had done to Merlin, he still loved the dark haired actor – but he had learned to live without him. Spending time with Merlin now was only going to open the old wound. He laughed bitterly at himself, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist; if Merlin was to crook his little finger, Arthur would go running. It has always been like that for him with Merlin, which is why the guilt of what he had done still haunted him despite the passing of so much time.

"Arthur – there you are," Morgana appeared in the doorway. "Uther's been on the phone; something about a crisis at the hotel, he wants you to head over and sort it out."

Arthur sighed. "Thanks Sis. I'd better make haste." He followed her back inside and grabbed his jacket and car keys. "See you later."

* * * *

Merlin sat back down next to Will, a smug smile on his lips. Arthur had taken the bait.

"Mate," said Will. "Where's my coffee?" He indicated Merlin's empty hands with a raised eyebrow.

"What? Oh, right – sorry Will, I got distracted."

"Yeah, I saw you talking to Pendragon. I didn't know you knew him well enough to be on talking terms. We didn't exactly move in the same circles back in the day."

"No, but he used to work here remember, and we used to be in here practically every day. He was just saying hi." Will didn't need to know of Merlin's plans, much as his friend disliked Arthur, he was a straight down the line kind of bloke; he wouldn't approve of Merlin's tactics. "I'll just grab that coffee." He went to get up.

"Nah, lets split," Will folded the newspaper and shoved it under his arm. "I just had a text from Frey wanting to know what's keeping us. We should get going."

Merlin nodded and followed Will to the exit; it took longer than he would have liked as a new wave of 'admirers' had turned up to fawn over him. He inwardly rolled his eyes – this was the price of fame and he had to put up with it, but he didn't have to like it. He was happy to leave now; he'd scored the first point.

Later, after he'd been to Will and Freya's for a couple of hours and had headed to his Mum's, he went to bed, undressing and perching on the guest bed in the spare room; he dug out his phone sent Arthur a text:

_Gr8 2 cu 2day. Meet me 4a drink 2mo? Merlin_

After a couple of minutes his phone beeped back at him:

_U2. Drink b gud. W&W? Arthur_

_Swan. 8.30. M_

_Cu there. A_

Merlin shoved the phone on the side and threw himself back on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. He _could_ do this. He could make Arthur fall in love with him and then cruelly crush his heart. He felt his confidence waver. He was pretty sure Arthur would be putty in his hands; he was Merlin Emrys, currently top of most internet search trend lists, most Googled and apparently the number 1 sexiest man in the world if the poll results of a couple of magazines were to be believed. He was _officially_ hotter than Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner who had come in at 2 and 3. He _knew_ Arthur wouldn't be able to resist him _physically_, after all he'd always only ever thought with his dick; but Merlin worried that he wouldn't be able to touch his heart – he wasn't sure that Arthur Pendragon _had_ a heart.

Merlin reluctantly let his thoughts slip back to the day he'd caught Arthur entwined with that leach. He'd had already had the day from hell, he'd come to find Arthur, needing to offload the stress, needing his arms around him... He'd gone to Arthur's house, in the window as he always did – that was what secret lovers did – and found Arthur being sucked off by Sophia, his eyes closed in pleasure; neither party had noticed Merlin come in the window.

Part of him wished he'd gone back the way he came before either of them saw him, that way he could have broken it off with Arthur and made him feel the rejected one; but he'd seen red. He'd picked up a bottle of water that Arthur had left on the bookcase, twisted off the lid, and thrown the contents on Arthur's face. Arthur's eyes had flown open in shock, realisation slowly dawning as he attempted to pull away from Sophia and reach for Merlin, but Merlin had gone, Arthur's panicked shouts ringing in his ears, coupled with Sophia's 'Who the _fuck_ was that?"

_No_, by the time he'd finished with him, Arthur would be a broken man.

Merlin relaxed and let sleep claim him, thoughts of tomorrow night's date fresh in his mind.

* * * *

**There you go folks, not very long again though, could probably have been tucked in with chapter 2. Apologies for the crap text speak, I don't use it much myself as I'm a bit of a pedant for 'proper' language, so it could be totally wrong!**

**Hope you like, please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I do not own Merlin, just my plot.**

**Random fact about me #5: The UK number 1 on the day I was born was 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Appropriate for later chapters me thinks!**

**Chapter 4**

Merlin was deliberately late, the taxi dropping him off out the front of the pub at 8.15pm. He figured it was late enough to make Arthur anxious, but not so late that he'd give up and go home. Not nervous - not nervous - not nervous...

He walked in the pub to find that it had enjoyed a revamp in the last few years since he had last been there; he was expecting a smattering of old guys in flat caps, maybe a dog curled in the hearth by the fire instead he was greeting with faux rustic 'gastro pub' and a _lot_ of people. More than the anticipated five customers was a lot as far as Merlin was concerned; he sighed and looked around for Arthur.

Arthur was sat at the end of the bar on the stool, staring blankly into a pint of Guinness. He looked up Merlin approached and tentatively smiled, his blue eyes clearly relieved.

Merlin went over and ordered himself a bottle of his favourite pear cider before turning to Arthur; all too aware the most of the people in the room were staring at him; Merlin Emrys – movie star. He could hear whispers, friends encouraging each other - _go on –_ _talk to him / ask him for his autograph / tell him you love his movies _– "Do you mind if we sit somewhere... more private?" he asked Arthur, looking at him properly for the first time since he'd walked in. _Fuck_ he was gorgeous. Merlin wished Arthur had put on four stone and gone bald. No such luck. That golden blonde hair, the royal blue eyes, those cheek bones... his fantastic body. _Fuck fuck fuck._ This was going to be more difficult than he'd thought.

"OK," replied Arthur, picking up his pint and walking towards the back of the pub where there were less people and sliding into an empty booth. Merlin followed, studiously trying not to look at his backside in the hip hugging black jeans he was wearing; he sat opposite Arthur and took a swig of his cider.

The two men eyed each other warily, Merlin suddenly unsure where to go with this. He found he actually _wanted_ to know what Arthur had been doing for the last four years. He told himself it was just to get ammo to help his plan along. Of course he didn't actually want to reach over and rub his thumb over the back of Arthur's hand; it was like the ghost of an old memory of when he used to do that all the time, knowing it turned Arthur on. He picked up his drink again and sat on his other hand.

Arthur broke the silence, "It's really good to see you Merlin. I didn't think you'd want anything to do with me after -"

"Water under the bridge," interrupted Merlin. "We were best friends weren't we? I'd like to..." He broke off, deliberately leaving it hanging. Let Arthur make his own assumptions. "So, are you seeing anyone?"

Arthur flushed. Merlin decided that he probably was, but Arthur replied, "No, not right now." He met Merlin's eyes briefly before finding a fascination with the grain of the wood in the table, tracing it with his finger. "I'm not interested in relationships; I'm concentrating on my career. How about your career though Merlin? I was so... proud when you won the Oscar."

Merlin decided to go with it, the two of them talking about Merlin's movie career, Arthur filling him in on his life working for his father. They had always made easy conversation, Merlin found despite a stilted start this had not changed. He mentally scored himself another point.

Arthur went to the bar to get more drinks and Merlin was left in his own thoughts, watching Arthur walk away from reminding him of the first time they had officially met, when Merlin had knocked Arthur off his feet in Pendragon's; the shock of electricity that had shot up his arm when he had given Arthur a helping hand and the torment of the following weeks as he had found himself watching Arthur at school, going to Pendragon's even more frequently than before – lying in bed fantasising what it would be like to kiss those lips and run hands through his already tousled hair - beating himself up because up until that point, he'd only ever fancied girls; Arthur Pendragon was the exception. He hadn't been in any classes with Arthur and the other boy hung out with the cool kids whilst he was with the freaks. He had wanted desperately to orchestrate another encounter but was scared to do anything – even if he did prefer boys to girls - Arthur Pendragon was way out of his league.

It all changed three weeks or so after the incident in Pendragon's; Merlin was in the town bookshop with his nose buried in a book about Ley Lines, when a voice had interrupted, "Are you going to buy that?" Merlin had looked up guiltily with a cheeky retort on his tongue when he'd realised the other voice belonged to Arthur and was thus rendered speechless.

"Did you hear me?" Arthur had said, waving a hand in front of Merlin's eyes.

"What's it got to do with you?" Merlin had finally said, inwardly cursing himself. He'd finally got the encounter he wanted without having to approach Arthur, and he was being arsy with him.

"This is my Dad's shop," said Arthur, folding his arms across the expanse of this chest.

Merlin gulped, "Oh, sorry." He'd forgotten that Uther Pendragon owned pretty much all of Camelot. "I'm buying it."

"Ley Lines," mused Arthur, taking the book off Merlin and reading the back of it under Merlin's fascinated gaze. "Did you know there's one that runs right through from the old well in the square, past the church to the stone circle at the top of Dragon Hill?"

"No," managed Merlin, surprised at Arthur's even talking to him let alone his knowledge of his current favourite topic.

"It's magic up there," Arthur continued. "Want me to show you?"

Merlin hadn't needed asking twice. He never had been able to say no to Arthur – then. It was different now.

* * * *

Arthur brought the drinks back to the table and settled himself back down opposite Merlin. He felt... odd. He couldn't quite put his finger on the feeling, kind of like coming home after a long stressful day. He looked at Merlin who seemed to be lost in a day dream and was chewing his lower lip. Arthur felt himself harden. _You weak fool._

They finished their drinks, conversation still flowing; how was it they could still talk to each other about such random things, debating Harry Potter v Lord of the Rings or when Lost had lost the plot.

"You want another drink here Merlin or shall we go somewhere else?"

"Somewhere else," said Merlin, getting up and pulling on his hide from the press hoody. "Out the back though, it's even busier up front now than it was earlier." He led the way, and soon they were walking in comfortable silence in no particular direction.

"My flat is just up here," Arthur found himself saying before he could stop himself. "Shall we have a drink there?" He felt nervous waiting for Merlin's answer; too much too soon?

"Alright," he smiled. "I'm intrigued to see what Arthur Pendragon's own place looks like."

Arthur's breath caught in his throat at Merlin's smile. "Come on," he encouraged, and they walked up the slope of the High Street, Arthur's flat being on the town square in a converted old house.

Arthur felt the weight of Merlin's curiosity on his shoulders. Not many people were granted entry to his private space. Only his Father, Morgana and his friend Lance had ever been inside. He hoped Merlin would like it.

He unlocked the door and stood back for Merlin to enter, switching on the light as he followed him inside. Watching Merlin for a reaction he was unsure of the meaning when the other man said, "It's very you."

Arthur's sitting room was quite minimal in decor, no clutter, comfortable sofa, coffee table, television, huge armchair in the window where Arthur like to read, one huge bookcase in the alcove next to the fire, very neatly full of much loved tomes. It was his sanctuary, his escape from the boredom that was his day to day life working for his father.

"Would you like a drink?" Arthur indicated for Merlin to sit down on the sofa.

"No thanks," said Merlin, still standing uncomfortably close to Arthur by the door. He turned slightly and with his right hand grabbed Arthur's collar and pulled him in for a kiss.

Momentarily stunned, Arthur didn't respond immediately, letting the sensation wash over him. Merlin's tongue sought entrance to his mouth and he parted his lips for him before spinning Merlin round and pinning him against the wall and crushing his lips beneath his, his hands on Merlin's slender hips, his thumbs ghosting over hip bones pressing himself against the smaller man, both of them already hard.

"Merlin..." Arthur moaned as he trailed kisses down to Merlin's collar bone, biting it fiercely before Merlin pulled him back in for another mind blowing kiss.

They were only kissing and Arthur felt like he might come there and then; he wanted Merlin so badly, wanted to be inside him. He slid a hand in between them and stroked Merlin's cock through his trousers... and Merlin pulled away, pushing Arthur back with a hefty shove.

"No – Arthur, I'm not ready for this." Merlin ran a shaky hand through his midnight hair. "I'm sorry, I'd better go."

Arthur's gut twisted as Merlin wrenched opened the door and ran out. He wanted to go after him, apologise... do _something_. Merlin was walking away from him again, and after one evening in his company Arthur was already certain he didn't want to lose Merlin again. He fought against the urge to follow him, shutting the door and sinking to the floor.

He did not look out of the window and see Merlin as he licked his right index finger and raised it in the air with a tiny hiss as he scored himself another point.

* * * *

**Oooh dear, does Arthur deserve this fate?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I do not own Merlin, just my plot.**

**I hope this chapter reads OK, got a bit of writer's block over the weekend. On a positive note – I am now an engaged woman – woo! (Probably cause of said writer's block, I've been in a bit of a tizz).**

**Chapter 5**

Merlin felt thoroughly mortified with himself. He was 22 years old for Pete's sake, he'd been living independently since he was 18; not to forget he was a movie star who could have pretty much anyone they wanted (not that he ever put that to the test because that just wasn't in his nature), so why was he lying on his mother's spare bed, door locked, have just furiously wanked with Arthur Pendragon's name on his lips? This plan was supposed to torment Arthur, _not_ Merlin.

When he'd gone in for the kiss with Arthur last night, he'd planned that, of course he had. When he'd pulled away claiming it he wasn't ready, he'd planned that too. He hadn't banked on _wanting_ Arthur so much or given any thought on just how difficult it would actually be to wrench himself away; he'd very nearly been on the point of giving in to it. _Bloody pathetic; after only a kiss and grope? _

He was spending the day with his mother today, and had been looking forward to it; he missed his Mum now that he lived here, there and everywhere but Camelot. He had his own place in London but was rarely there. He had spent the last 4 months on a shoot in LA and before that he'd been filming in Ireland; he'd probably only been in his flat for a few days in six months, it didn't feel like home; _nowhere did_.

He got up and had a long shower, turning over the next step of his plan in his head and wondering if he could really do it. He'd never used to be a cruel person. He sighed; he was what Arthur had made him. He didn't know why he couldn't he let it go. He was happy, very successful and had a gorgeous _girlfriend_.

Merlin was a believer in someone's soul mate being so regardless of their gender, so he didn't think of himself as bisexual as such. Anyway, other than Arthur, he'd only had girlfriends.

"So what shall we do today Mum?" he asked Hunith when he went down for some breakfast. "You up for some shopping, let me treat you?"

Hunith beamed; she was so proud of her little boy. They spent the day at Camelot Mall (owned and run by Uther Pendragon of course), Merlin getting 'mobbed' far more times than was comfortable and having to sign autographs and pose for photos. Finally they stopped for lunch at Giraffe, Merlin sitting with his back to the window to minimise the risk of being accosted with a mouthful of falafel.

"When do I get to meet Gwen?" Hunith asked as they enjoyed the last dregs of the bottle of wine they had ordered to go with their meal. "It would be nice for your old Mum to finally meet one of your girlfriends; or boyfriends for that matter."

"She's coming to the wedding," replied Merlin. "Don't read anything into that though Mum, we're not serious." He gulped down his glass of wine in one, feeling awkward all of a sudden.

"Not serious? You young people! By the time I was your age I was married with you on the way."

"Mum, I'm 22. I'm not in any rush to settle down. I'm concentrating on my career!" Merlin rolled his eyes. She was always trying to marry him off.

"I blame that Arthur," Hunith continued. "The way that boy treated you was despicable." She had been the only one in Merlin's inner circle who had known about his relationship with Arthur. "Talking of Arthur, isn't that him over there?"

Merlin turned to look in the direction of his mother's gaze and realised she was right, Arthur was over by the mall office complex, dressed a suit and tie, _looking fucking heavenly_, talking to a short older man who was gesturing expressively as he talked to Arthur. Arthur was nodding with a polite smile and rubbing his chin as he listened.

"He's a good looking boy," said Hunith with dreamy sigh. Merlin glared at her.

"Right – sorry, tactless of me Merlin," she acknowledged, still staring at Arthur.

Merlin dug in his pocket and fished out his phone; might as well test the water, see if the plan had any chance of working:

Sorry bout last nite. Cinema l8r? M

He watched Arthur as he excused himself from the man he was talking to and found his phone from his breast pocket and read Merlin's text before frowning slightly; quickly tapping in a reply:

Love2. Meet u there 8? A

Why was Arthur frowning? This was not the desired effect!

OK. M

Again Merlin observed Arthur's reaction; his treacherous heart skipping a beat when Arthur's face split into a beaming smile as he read Merlin's reply.

Merlin forced himself to look away; he didn't want Arthur to catch him ogling and know he'd been texting him from just a few feet away. He was annoyed to notice his mother was still looking at Arthur as though she wanted to eat him. "Mum, stop it, he'll see you!"

He hadn't planned on seeing Arthur today, the plan was to let him sweat for a day; yet he hadn't been able to resist sending that text. Mentally blocking out the initial frown, Merlin scored himself a point for the smile and checked his phone to see what was on the cinema that night.

* * * *

Arthur was early that evening, pacing the foyer nervously before catching himself and moving to the cinema shop to flick through Heat magazine. Merlin was on page 3, 6, 12, 21 and in the spotted section. Page 3 was picture showing Merlin holding a Starbucks coffee and looking at his watch, speculating who he might be waiting for. Page 12 has an article on 'How to get Merlin's look', which really amused Arthur when he thought back to 18 year old Merlin to whom fashion was an anathema. He frowned at page 21; Merlin at a movie premiere in a tux; holding Gwen Ivere's hand; Arthur's tummy flip flopped Merlin looked divine – _and really bloody happy_. The caption underneath referred to the duo as 'Gwenlin' and Arthur saw that the photo was taken _last week_.

Suddenly Arthur felt sick; shoving the magazine back into the rack he stomped out of the shop only to bump into Merlin who had just arrived.

Fixing a smile to his face apologised and asked Merlin what film they were seeing. "Avatar. Will's just getting the tickets now." Merlin gestured towards the ticket office and Arthur recognised Will and his girlfriend Freya.

_Great, a group outing._ Arthur's spirits sank. He just about managed a half hearted response, his mind's eye still full of the photo of Merlin with Gwen, he couldn't look Merlin in the eye, shifting from foot to foot he admired the carpet instead. Will and Freya joined them and the quartet made their way to screen 7. They sat in the middle of the theatre, Will and Freya together, Merlin then Arthur on the end.

If anyone had asked Arthur what the film was about, he wouldn't have been able to tell them. Something about humans causing havoc on another planet full of tall blue people? _Whatever._ All he could see was Merlin and Gwen, hand in hand. Merlin and Gwen; the perfect couple. Merlin and Gwen; _in bed together_. He was acutely aware of Merlin sitting beside him, their shoulders touching; of Merlin's breathing, of his every movement. It was torture.

Why had Merlin kissed him last night if he had a girlfriend? Why had he said 'no - I'm not ready' instead of 'no, I can't I have a girlfriend'? Arthur's brain began to loop between images of Merlin and Gwen, the kiss, Merlin's close proximity, what Merlin had said last night, Merlin and Gwen, Merlin and anybody else... Bloody hell, _he was being such a girl!_

One hundred and sixty two minutes later Arthur was exhausted, and apparently the movie had finally finished – thank heaven. He followed Merlin out towards the foyer, Will and Freya walking in front. Merlin linked his little finger into Arthur's for the short amount time it took to reach the bright lights before withdrawing his hand and shoving it in his pocket.

When he got home he realised he'd spent the whole evening sitting next to Merlin yet they had only exchanged about ten words. His hand burned from the brief contact.

He couldn't sleep; the loop in his head on permanent replay. What the hell was the matter with him? It wasn't like he hadn't known Merlin had a girlfriend, even if he did normally avoid gossipy publications, pictures of the darlings of Hollywood always seemed to follow him; rubbing in what he had thrown away.

Merlin Emrys was going to be the death of him.

* * * *

**A/N: I'm not doing too good with conveying the jealousy I don't think; but more to come. Also, sorry about the 'Gwenlin' thing. If there's a fanfic name for that pairing then please let me know as I have no clue!**

**Review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I do not own Merlin.**

**Random of the day: The UK number 1 on the day I was born was 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. **

**Chapter 6**

"Wow," sighed Merlin. "I'd forgotten how beautiful it is up here. Arthur – look at that view." He was standing with his toes on the stone base of the trig point on the top of Dragon Hill, his elbows resting on the top as he surveyed the dark sky and the panorama laid out before him.

Arthur was looking at a somewhat different view, the slight curve of Merlin's buttocks in those combat trousers... "Have a word with yourself Pendragon," he muttered to himself under his breath, before making appropriate noises about the fantastic view over the surrounding countryside to Merlin.

Last night, following a whole day of being a grouchy due to lack of sleep following the trip to the cinema, Arthur had promised himself that he only wanted to be friends with Merlin, that he certainly did not deserve anything more; to have Merlin back in his life in some capacity was enough. Once the vow was made, he had text Merlin an invite to spend the day with him; although he had been perhaps a little too pleased when Merlin had said yes.

"There's rain on the way," Merlin observed, his line of sight looking east where rain could be seen falling over the ridge on the horizon. Merlin had always had a fascination for the weather; Arthur enjoyed watching his pleasure in watching the distant rain fall, half hoping they got caught in the rain – he certainly had no intention of cutting the outing short for a few splatters.

Arthur, still admiring his view – _nothing wrong with looking_ – walked slowly to Merlin's side and rested an elbow on top of the trig, "Its heading this way; we should probably take shelter in Dragon's Cave?"

Merlin shuddered, "I bloody hate that dark damp hovel." He jumped down anyway and started to amble in the general direction of the cave which was a few minutes walk away. Arthur followed behind; wistfully tracing his fingers over the surface of the largest stone of the stone circle as they passed; it had been a sunny day four years ago, sitting at the base of that very stone, when he had first kissed Merlin. He wondered if Merlin remembered, but made no move to ask.

The wind began to chase them and it started to drizzle. Arthur normally quite liked the rain, however it was the middle of December and he was bloody cold; wishing he had thought to wrap up warmer before setting out, but it had seemed like it was going to be a mild day. He picked up his pace towards their destination.

Dragon's cave was on the north of the hill, always in shadow at this time of the day even in the sunniest weather. Nobody really knew how deep the cave went, and back in the seventies Camelot District Council had mounted an iron grate about twenty feet inside to stop sight seers trying to find out; Arthur wondered why they bothered, he had yet to see anyone else at the cave and he had been coming up this hill since he was a boy, the cave being a favourite childhood hang out for him; the perfect place to escape from his father.

Merlin stood just inside the entrance and waited for Arthur to join him, arms wrapped around himself, obviously feeling the effects of the sudden chill in the air. That beanie hat looked so cute on him... _Stop it!_

They sat down just inside, backs to the wall, out of the path of the approaching rain. Arthur loved the earthy smell of the rock and the earth. He rummaged in his back pack and pulled out a bottle of water, taking a swig and offering it to Merlin, their fingers touching as Merlin took it from him. A jolt of electricity shot up Arthur's arm and he had to stifle a gasp. Why was he doing this to himself? _Friends_ was not what he wanted; was he was kidding himself thinking he could do this? He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep them from misbehaving.

"What's your next project going to be?" he asked Merlin to distract himself; the companionable silence turning into something else.

"You'll laugh," Merlin replied, sliding a quick glance at Arthur, smiling at himself at the thought.

"I won't laugh."

"You will."

"Just tell me already!" Arthur was sure he would be able to hold back even if the desire to laugh did strike.

"OK – but... Evil genius lady killer Bond villain." Arthur laughed. "I knew it!" griped Merlin, laughing with him. "I couldn't resist it; fast cars, private jets and exotic location, who could say no?"

"Aren't you a little young to be the villain in a Bond?"

"I'll be the youngest Bond villain yet, yes." Arthur watched Merlin's hands rake through his hair, wanting to join them. "I have to dye my hair blonde like yours. I haven't been allowed to see all the script yet to minimise the plot getting out, but I've a feeling I might turn out to be son of Bond or something like that – together we can rule the world as father and evil son – that kind of thing."

Arthur was laughing in earnest now. He couldn't imagine Merlin as evil, he was simply too nice a person.

* * * *

Merlin was thoroughly enjoying himself. Sure, he'd been acting a part for some of the time, being all lost in his own thoughts and, he hoped, mysterious(ish) when the real him wanted to talk about _anything and everything_ with Arthur. He'd made sure he'd talked enough so as not to appear completely cut off, and passing by the standing stones and the site of the first kiss has only served to remind him what he was doing this for. It couldn't hurt to enjoy Arthur's company a little bit though; he couldn't stay in role all the time.

"I can't imagine you being evil, Merlin," Arthur said now, and Merlin felt himself blush, knowing full well that his plans for Arthur were, if not totally evil, evil's little brother; revenge or not.

"I _am_ an actor; I can turn my hand to most things. Did you see me when I had a guest role in 'Supernatural' last season? I thought I was a pretty cool demon." Merlin watched as Arthur's lips momentarily tightened.

"No sorry, I must have missed that one."

An awkward silence descended, Merlin wasn't sure how to break it. Outside the rain was now coming down in sheets, and the wind was picking up. Merlin shivered and decided it was time to crank up the volume a little. He shifted closer to Arthur and shivered again. "I'm freezing," he pouted; not a lie but designed to gain a reaction. He snuggled closer to Arthur and leant his head on his shoulder, closing the space between them.

Merlin felt Arthur tense, and for a moment worried that he was reading it all wrong, that maybe Arthur wasn't affected by his proximity; _perhaps this was not going to work._ No, this was going to happen; he was not going to fail, he needed this. Arthur had responded to the kiss... Merlin inched a hand onto Arthur's thigh.

"Merlin, what...?" Merlin slid his hand higher, making sure to brush Arthur's inner thigh briefly. Arthur jumped to his feet. "Merlin!"

Merlin feigned an innocent expression, acting 101, and shrugged, "Sorry, I thought..."

Arthur closed his eyes for a moment before looking down at Merlin. "It's ok, really, I just... I really want to..." Merlin licked his lips, basic seduction 101, Arthur's blue eyes followed the movement. "Oh fuck it!" Arthur crouched down in front of Merlin, put his hands on his shoulders, leaned and kissed him. One hand came up to stroke Merlin's neck as he gently bit Merlin's lips.

Merlin leaned into the kiss, his own hand grasping Arthur's collar to pull him closer. Arthur lost his balance and fell to his knees, Merlin made room for him between his thighs, his hands sliding under Arthur's coat, finding their way to the flesh underneath. Arthur groaned and deepened the kiss.

Merlin pretended this was just a movie, that there was a huge film crew present; just another job. He kissed Arthur back as though he really was deep in the throes of passion, _which of course he wasn't_, as if the other man meant something to him. Just a job – just a job – just a job. He wished someone would tell that to his cock, which was making his combats feel uncomfortably tight. He realised he was no longer cold despite his jacket having been discarded – when had that happened? – and Arthur had undone his shirt and was now running his hands down his chest, moving slowly lower, his thumbs hooking into his waistband.

_Oh God._ It hadn't felt like this when he'd done that sex scene with whatever her name was in his last movie... Arthur was undoing his zip... _Holy mother of..!_ Merlin had to admit he might, _perhaps_, have lost control of this situation.

* * * *

**OK, not sure if next chapter with be a bit lemony PWP or if I will just leave it as implied. What do you think I should do?**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I own £****142.50 worth of Merlin as it's the only thing on the BBC I watch. (Apart from Spooks, so...make that £71.25). Bloody licence fee.**

**I couldn't do total PWP lemons, I'm too new with this!**

**Chapter 7**

Arthur could now admit he had 100% lied to himself about Merlin. As if he could just be friends with him. Merlin had been the best thing to ever happen to him and the worst. This was the man who had plagued his dreams for the past four years. Yes, he had avoided watching any of Merlin's movies, he'd skipped Supernatural when Merlin was in it – he hadn't been able to face watching his former boyfriend, not when Merlin's ghost already haunted him.

As his fingers slid down Merlin's zip Arthur looked into Merlin's deep blue eyes, seeking permission to continue, groaning at what he saw reflected there. Merlin's pupils were dilated, he was returning Arthur's questioning gaze with such a look of longing. Arthur's member hardened even further, if that was possible. He leaned in and stole another kiss, his tongue slowly exploring the cavern of Merlin's mouth, Merlin responding with equal fervour. The zip was undone now; Arthur slid his hand inside and cupped Merlin's manhood through his boxers. Merlin's gasp of pleasure was enough to spur him to continue. He gently stroked the swollen bulge causing Merlin to buck off the ground. Arthur began trailing kisses along Merlin's jaw before clamping his lips to his neck, sucking and biting – Merlin had always been sensitive there – whilst pushing down Merlin's trousers and boxers and releasing his cock and wrapping his hand around it, slowly tracing every inch of it with a controlled caress. His lips traced a pathway from Merlin's neck, meeting the constrictive barrier of his t-shirt; using his spare hand he removed the offending piece of clothing, Merlin raising his arms compliantly, and threw it to one side.

Arthur leant back and marvelled at the sight Merlin made in front of him, lips parted, breathing hard, his head thrown back against the wall of the cave, exposing the soft curve of his throat, eyes fixed on Arthur's. _Dear heaven_. Leaning in he took one of Merlin's rosy nipples between his teeth and nipped, tweaking the other between thumb and forefinger and pulling.

"Ung... Arthur!"

Arthur felt a surge of power at Merlin's reaction. Sucking in a deep breath he laved his tongue down Merlin's abdomen, his thumbs now on Merlin's hipbones, gripping tightly. He returned his attention back to Merlin's straining erection, licking slowly over the head, casting a glance up at Merlin who was biting his lip and watching with huge blue eyes.

Running his tongue down to the root he sucked at the soft skin at the bottom: Merlin inhaled deeply and lifted a hand to threat through Arthur's golden locks. Arthur shifted his weight, pressing his lips against the head before lapping his tongue along the length slowly, covering every inch with insistent strokes.

Merlin's hand was suddenly on Arthur's waist, fumbling slightly he dealt with the zip of Arthur's jeans, pushing the denim down over Arthur's hips, his hands returning to trace swiftly over the exposed skin before taking his erection in his hand and pumping it slowly. Arthur groaned, his attention momentarily distracted from his ministrations to Merlin's cock. He straightened and plundered Merlin's mouth, his tongue mirroring Merlin's rhythm. Merlin picked up speed, Arthur matched him fervently.

Sitting back on his heels he regarded the dark haired actor, "Merlin, you are so fucking _hot_."

Running his tongue back over Merlin's nipples briefly he returned his attention southwards, swiping the head with a swirling tongue before enveloping the length, loving the feeling of power as Merlin groaned again; arching against him, both hands now tangled in Arthur's hair. Arthur hummed softly. "Fuuuuck – Arthur.." he heard Merlin cry as he went deeper.

Arthur began bobbing his head up and down, Merlin's hands encouraging him before he removed one and returned to stroke Arthur's erection, rapidly increasing the pace to match Arthur's attentions.

Arthur was so turned on; he didn't think he would be able to last much longer, Merlin's touch was driving him over the edge, causing him to moan, the vibrations sending shivers through Merlin who cried, "Oh my God, I'm..." before spilling himself into Arthur's greedy mouth.

Arthur couldn't stand it any longer, he came hard over Merlin's stomach. He finished lapping up the last drop from Merlin before releasing him and leaning forward for a kiss, collapsing his forehead against Merlin's chest as he fought to regain his breath.

He felt a strange contentment, a feeling he hadn't had in years. A feeling only Merlin could give him. Merlin's hand was still in his hair, his thumb tracing behind Arthur's ear. He could hear the heavy thumping of his heart, combing with the driving rain outside the cave.

Arthur loved the rain.

* * * *

Merlin tried to collect himself; his breathing still laboured, his body sated. He couldn't remember having such an intense orgasm, ever. He looked at Arthur's bent head, his own hand entwined in his golden hair. _What had he done?_

One moment he had been in control, pretending this thing was Arthur was just another job, a means to an end. He'd wanted Arthur to come undone; he just hadn't planned on joining him. He had planned to leave Arthur wanting more, and yet here he was, almost naked in Arthur's arms having just come in his mouth.

His senses flooded back to him. _Arthur was such a man whore_. Merlin was willing to bet he was never without someone to share his bed, and now he had played into the other man's hands. He was supposed to draw Arthur in slowly then crush him. He mentally deducted himself a point.

Hopefully Arthur would want more – he could use that, it wasn't over, not by a long shot.

He shifted uncomfortably, the realisation that he was sitting his naked bottom on a cold rock face; the chill in the winter air finding his skin again not that he was back down to earth.

Arthur lifted his handsome head and rocked back on his heels, straightening his clothing before offering Merlin a hand. Merlin let Arthur help him to his feet without meeting his eyes. He had to figure out his next move...

"I think the rain is clearing," said Arthur, taking a step nearer the mouth of the cave. "We should be good to go in a few minutes." He turned to Merlin with a smile. "You OK?"

"Yeah," Merlin adjusted his clothing and picked up his t-shirt, trying to ignore the odd sensation of drying come on his stomach as he pulled it hastily over his head. He mentally flipped the switch, approaching Arthur; leaning in for a kiss he sucked the blonde's lower lip briefly, "That was...good." He slid a hand onto Arthur's hip. Arthur moaned and captured Merlin's lips, threading a strong hand in Merlin's unruly hair.

"Where'd the beanie go?" he asked as he pulled away.

Merlin grinned, crouching down to pick the hat up off the floor and pulling it down over Arthur's ears. "It suits you," he smirked; it was a dorky hat designed for warmth and comfort, the kind that made the wearer instantly look like a dweeb – not Arthur though_, Arthur would look fucking gorgeous in anything_. Merlin's smile faltered. "I'm freezing," he shrugged into his jacket and zipped it up. "Let's head back. I'm in the mood for a Pendragon's soya latte and a muffin."

On the way back to civilisation Merlin made small talk, careful not to touch Arthur, avoiding any kind of discussion about what had just happened – it was essential that their relationship was left hanging in the air. Arthur seemed happy to comply as they ambled their way down the hillside in the post rainfall gloom.

When they reached Pendragon's Merlin sank happily into his chair, his latte clasped tightly between his cold hands. He regarded Arthur over the top of his drink. "Do you fancy coming to Will's stag do on Thursday night?"

Arthur, nursing his own hot drink, looked pleased at the suggestion. "Sure, why not?" he replied, taking a sip. He took a deep breath and leant forward, "Merlin, I..." He broke off as Merlin was suddenly mobbed by a group of giggling girls, all swooning at the Hollywood actor in their midst.

He exhaled the breath he had been holding, never before so pleased by the attentions of fangirl teenagers; anything to stop Arthur's probing regarding what had happened in the cave. Smiling he posed for a photograph with a simpering redhead as Arthur watched through narrowed eyes.

Merlin re-awarded himself the point he had deducted earlier, and set about flirting with his fans.

* * * *

**A/N: I have never written a slash sex scene before, so if it was bad please feedback so I can improve!**

**Review?**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I was lying about the how much of the BBC I watch, I forgot Ashes to Ashes, Torchwood and Dr Who. So it's only £28.50 of Merlin that is mine (then the rest of the licence fee paying public own the rest of him) – boooo.**

**Many thanks for the comments, as well as all the alerts and favourites for this story so far. I hope you stick with it, plenty more to come.**

**Chapter 8**

"What's with this sudden interest in inviting Arthur Pendragon everywhere Merlin?" asked Will, as he shovelled a mouthful of onion bhaji down his gullet.

"I only asked him to your stag do as he's coming to the wedding anyway," lied Merlin. It was true that Arthur was going to Will's wedding, invited by Will's father because he worked for Uther.

"Could you ask him to be the stripper at my hen instead?" Freya joked. "Even though I made Annis promise not to get me a stripper I know she will; and if he's anything like the one at Beatrice's hen do – supposed to be a fireman, looked more like a bin man and was wearing South Park Chef socks – eww. That Arthur would make a great stripper..."

"If you're having a stripper so am I," grinned Will. "Merlin will sort it out, he's the best man – eh Merlin?"

"What? Er – really?" _Whoops, a little too lost in thoughts of Arthur stripping there._ "Noooo - do I have to Will? It's so tacky."

"Don't you dare get Will a stripper Merlin," fumed Freya, hoisted by her own petard.

They were eating at the local Indian, sitting in a booth; it was their last real night of normality before the wedding, the stag and hens were tomorrow, then they had to spend the evening apart before the big day. Merlin envied their closeness, they had each other and that was all they needed.

"Is Gwen still coming tomorrow?" Freya had met Gwen once before when she and Will had visited Merlin in LA and the two women had instantly hit it off.

"Yeah, and she's staying at Mum's with me," groaned Merlin. "Mum has already made up another bedroom to avoid 'funny business' going in under her roof. It's going to be an interesting couple of days..."

Will laughed, "Aw, poor little Merlin."

"Talking of Arthur Pendragon, the hunk has just walked in." Freya was openly taking advantage of her vantage point facing the entrance.

Merlin froze. Arthur is here now? He hadn't contacted Arthur today in the hope that the blonde would make the next move, but he hadn't heard anything. He had not been too concerned, they did have plans for the following day after all, and he was damned if he was getting in touch to suggest anything in the meantime. Of all the shitty luck though.

"Ooh, he's with Lance DuLac," Freya's eyes were practically out on stalks. She had had a huge crush on Lance when they were in high school, before Will had made his move; Lance had been in Arthur's it crowd.

"Frey, stop being so _obvious_," groaned Merlin, attempting to shrink into his seat, his starter forgotten. He really didn't want an unplanned Arthur encounter right now with Freya and Will looking on; he wouldn't be able to stay in role in front of his two best friends. What if Arthur said something that gave the game away? _What if it got back to Gwen?_ Bugger.

"Alright, _calm down_ Merlin! I thought he was your friend now, what's the problem?"

"No problem," Merlin could feel his nose growing ever so slightly. He picked up his fork and tried to stab the half eaten pakora on the plate, anything rather than look in the general direction of Arthur, which right now was in the seated waiting area by the bar. He really was a dickhead sometimes; this whole break Arthur's heart thing was so out of character for him. _Nice people just get walked over_. No, Arthur had treated him like he was nothing... Nothing wrong with being a dick sometimes is there? A person couldn't always be _nice._ Nice is boring.

Arthur spotted Freya and came over. Merlin cursed under his breath. "Hello Merlin," he smiled. "Will, Freya," he nodded his head at the couple who were really only acquaintances to him. "I didn't expect to see you here tonight."

Duh, thought Merlin bitterly, offering back his best insincere smile. Arthur's own smile faltered. _Ha._ He crossed his arms and glared. That ought to confuse him.

"I, uh, I just wanted to say hello seeing as we're, er, both here. Lance and I come here every other Thursday..." Arthur broke Merlin's stare briefly before returning his blue eyes to Merlin's. "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow right?"

Merlin nodded, "I'll call you tomorrow."

Arthur nodded at the threesome and went back to join Lance. Will was eyeing Merlin with suspicion. "What was _that_?"

Merlin shrugged, "What do you mean?" That had been a normal conversation, right? OK so Arthur had kind of tripped over his words, indicating to Merlin that the glare had unsettled him, leaving him unsure of where he stood after yesterday. _Good._

"You totally flustered him – he fancies you!"

"Doesn't matter one way or the other. I'm with Gwen." As the waiter appeared to collect their plates Merlin took the opportunity to slide out the cubicle and head for the loo, flicking a quick glance in Arthur's direction, not that he wanted the blonde to follow him of course.

* * * *

_You really have lost your mind now Pendragon._ It was not long gone midnight, and Arthur found himself outside Merlin's bedroom throwing grit at the window. After his meal with Lance and just a couple of glasses of wine (five) – at the Italian following Arthur's _sudden_ hankering for pizza,– he had gone home and stared at the wall for an hour with a bottle of whisky beside him, berating himself for acting like such a twat in front of Merlin and his friends. _Uh, er_ – where the hell had his coherent thoughts gone? Apparently in the presence of Merlin tonight all brain waves had gone straight to his dick. They were obviously still there; why else would Arthur be loitering with intent outside his Mother's house.

Hmph - either Merlin was asleep, _ignoring him_, or he wasn't in his bedroom. Arthur hunkered down with a slight wobble for another handful of material to throw_; one last try..._ Hmm, perhaps drinking that whisky on top of the wine had not been the best idea; this was worse than drunk dialling.

"Arthur? What on earth..?" Merlin was standing at the front gate, one hand still on the latch, viewing Arthur with a stunned expression.

Damn. Suddenly this did not seem such a good idea. "_Mer_lin... Wanted to talk to talk to you – _yes_ – talk, that's it. Talk."

"Riiight," Merlin let go of the gate and came closer to Arthur, crossing his arms and regarding him expectantly. Arthur swayed towards him slightly. "Are you _drunk_?"

"Absolutely not."

"Hmm."

"Only had a one or two glasses with dinner." Arthur leaned forward and ran a thumb over Merlin's lips before threading his hands into his dark locks and kissing Merlin softly.

Merlin pulled back. "You said talk Arthur."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, right, talk... Can I come in?" Merlin sighed and nodded; taking a key from his packet he unlocked the front door and beckoned Arthur inside.

"Keep the volume down, Mum's in bed." Merlin hung the key on a hook by the door. "Drink?"

"No thanks," Arthur pushed open the door he assumed led to the sitting room and flung himself onto the sofa. He must be a teensy bit _drunker_ that he had realised if his legs gave way so easily. He patted the cushion next to him and winked at Merlin who was standing in the doorway watching him with amusement.

"Just two glasses you say?" Merlin plonked himself down besides Arthur.

"Mmm hmmm...and some whisky..." Merlin smelled so good... Did he do it on purpose to make Arthur want him more? He was nuzzling Merlin's neck in a heartbeat, taking in the exclusive Merlin scent.

"Arthur?"

"...smell like toffee... mmm..."

"Arthur?"

"...mm.. tasty..."

"Arthur!!"

Arthur realised Merlin had his hands on his chest and was pushing him away. What a _spoilsport_. "_Mer_lin, don't you like..?"

"You're hammered Arthur. Being mauled by a drunk is not really my idea of a turn on to be honest," Arthur's heart sank. "Even if he is a gorgeous drunk." His spirits perked up again.

"Am _not_ a drunk," he protested without conviction.

"Come on; you need to sleep it off hm?"

"'Kay." Arthur let Merlin lead him upstairs and into a bedroom. Merlin helped Arthur off with his jacket and boots then encouraged him to get into bed. _Cosy_. He closed his eyes _just for a second_ and went out like a light.

* * * *

Merlin watched Arthur for a while, making sure he was asleep, before doing a little dance and heading for the bathroom. He stripped to his boxers, cleaned his teeth and washed, all the time aware of the smug little smile that played on his lips.

Tonight really could not have gone any better; he was glad now Arthur had not seen his hint to follow him to the gents in the restaurant – _this was so much better_. It seemed Arthur was an amorous drunk. Perfect.

Returning to the bedroom Merlin switched off the light and climbed into bed next to Arthur, snuggling into him. Sleeping Arthur snaked out an arm and pulled Merlin closer. Now all Merlin had to do was wait for Arthur to wake up, and the next stage would be complete sooner than he had planned. _Thank fuck for whisky_.

* * * *

**A/N: was going to send the boys for an Italian but then I went for a very lovely curry tonight myself, nom nom.**

**I love reviews; please be honest.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I do not own Merlin, if I did Gaius would be played by someone much younger and hotter.**

**Warnings: Adult only content.**

**Not a lot of plot in this chapter I'm afraid, it's kind of sour lemon.**

**Chapter 9**

Arthur woke up to a very pleasant surprise. He was spooning a sleeping Merlin. The vague throbbing in his temple, undoubtedly caused by a combination of wine and whisky vanished as the blood left his head for another part of his anatomy. This was how he would like to wake up every day...

The only light in the room came from the muted red glow of the alarm clock on the bedside table which proclaimed it to be 3.16am. Arthur smiled to himself and inhaled the unique smell of Merlin, which did nothing to dampen his erection that was straining uncomfortably against his jeans. Why was he wearing his jeans in bed? Bloody uncomfortable. Taking care not to disturb Merlin he shimmied out of his clothing, quite impressed with himself for doing so with such stealth. He vaguely acknowledged that maybe he was still a _little_ drunk before dismissing the unwanted thought and sliding back against Merlin, his hand pulling the slighter man into him, tracing spirals over his naked chest towards the waistband of Merlin's boxers.

Merlin moaned, still asleep, and rolled onto his back, leaving Arthur's lips only inches from Merlin's. The dim light highlighted the sharpness of Merlin's cheekbones, his soft mouth slightly open as he slept. Arthur's stomach twisted with need, his head dipping and kissing the inviting lips instinctively before showering kisses along his collar bone, one hand lazily tweaking Merlin's nipple, the other hooking the waistband of his boxers and sliding them down with a surprising ease, throwing them onto the floor. Arthur swirled his tongue over the exposed flash of Merlin's abdomen, one hand circling Merlin's now erect cock and pumping it slowly.

"Argh – what..?" Merlin had woken up, Arthur's mouth lifted in a tender smile before he moved up to kiss Merlin through his confusion, leaning into the side of his body, their naked chests welded together, still continuing his attentions over Merlin's smooth skin, itching to take him in his mouth and make him lose control.

"Shhh," Arthur whispered against Merlin's lips, thrusting his tongue inside and exploring the contours of his mouth, feeling smug when Merlin responded so quickly, their tongues battling for dominance. Arthur traced his thumb over the head of Merlin's cock, causing Merlin to groan and his hips to buck. Arthur felt a shiver of power run through him; he broke off the kiss and his mouth was encompassing Merlin's shaft, tasting, licking, sucking; it wasn't right that he enjoyed doing this so much, Merlin tasted perfect. He felt Merlin's hands fist in his hair, heard him moan as Arthur worshipped him.

The hands in his hair tightened and yanked him upwards. He felt the loss immediately, and was about to protest when Merlin somehow managed to flip him over onto his back, straddling him and covering his mouth with his, Merlin fucked his mouth with his tongue as he reached down and gripped Arthur's erection moving his hand up and down to mirror the movements of his tongue.

"I want you," breathed Merlin, breaking the kiss and nibbling Arthur's ear. "Let me fuck you Arthur."

Arthur nearly came at the mere suggestion. He was willing to agree to anything Merlin asked, even being on the bottom when he felt that he was a natural top. He responded by thrusting his hips upwards, "_Be my guest_."

Merlin sank his teeth into the sensitive skin of Arthur's neck before moving lower, his mouth grazing nipples and hip bones before encompassing Arthur's length in his mouth, long strokes of the tongue tasting him, fingers around the root and pumping slightly, Arthur hitched his breath and bucked into Merlin's mouth. He must have died and gone to heaven, _he must have_.

* * * *

Gods, Arthur tasted wonderful. Merlin swished his tongue over the leaking head one more time before reaching into the bedside table for a small tub of lube, glad he was able to find it the dark; suddenly admitting to himself that he wanted to see Arthur's face as he fucked him – so he flipped on the lamp, taking a moment to adjust to the new level of light.

Shit, Arthur was hot. _Really hot._ His normally perfect hair was tousled and sweaty, his blonde lashes fluttering against his cheeks as his eyes closed against the unexpected light, red lips from being thoroughly kissed. Merlin couldn't resist tracing his tongue over the blonde's pout as he opened the tub, scooping a generous amount onto his fingers and laving it over his own cock as it stood to attention against his stomach; as he did so his other hand was slowly pumping Arthur again. He couldn't bear not to be touching the beautiful blonde that lay beneath him, and when the blue lust filled eyes opened and met his own Merlin forgot what his plan was, in that moment it was just him and Arthur, and he wanted to impale the other man more than he had ever wanted anything.

"Open yourself for me," he breathed, sliding himself backwards and kneeling between Arthur's legs, dipping his fingers in the tub again, his hand moving to the spot he sought, gently breaking through with one finger, his groin tightening when Arthur whimpered and lifted his hips to meet him.

After a couple of minutes he inserted a second finger, which increased the volume of Arthur's moans, thrusting his hand in and out gently, not wanting to hurt his lover, inordinately pleased when Arthur said, "Fuck Merlin, Gods!" as found his most sensitive spot. "Merlin – more – argh!"

Merlin obliged and a third finger joined the party. Arthur moaned again, and a little voice in the back of his head warned Merlin that he was in his mother's house, prompting him to lean forward and crash his lips against Arthurs, again his tongue mirroring the actions of his fingers. Arthur was going crazy beneath him, moaning into the kiss. Merlin pulled back and blue eyes clashed, "What are you waiting for? Want – you – now."

Merlin obliged, lining up his cock with Arthur's entrance and pushing in slowly; surprised how ready he was. He didn't move for a moment, adjusting to the sensation, to which Arthur protested, "Move!" and Merlin obliged again, pulling out and thrusting back in a couple of times, not too fast, wanting to be sure of control – he needed to see Arthur lose it; Arthur had to come first.

Arthur's legs came up around Merlin's waist, his hands gripped his buttocks as he tried to pushed Merlin deeper, pupils dilated with need, Arthur began to move; Merlin jumped into action then, _he was in control_, picking up speed, slamming into Arthur with renewed vigour, knowing he had found Arthur's prostate from the groans emitting from Arthur, his lips on Arthur's neck, marking him, his breath shortening as he neared his goal.

Reluctantly leaving Arthur's neck Merlin shopped his thrusting, momentarily pulling out, smugly noting Arthur's disappointment at the loss, sitting back on his feet, kneeling between his legs and adjusting his angle before moving Arthur's legs slightly to fit the new position and plunging back inside Arthur, up to the hilt.

"Geez, Merlin!" cried Arthur as Merlin plundered him, his eyes rolling back in his head, hands fisting in the bed sheets. Merlin grinned wickedly and picked up the pace, sliding a hand around Arthur's cock and pumping it in time with his hips. He knew Arthur was close; Merlin was having to think unsexy thoughts to stop himself from coming first, to stay in control at all costs. "Agh, Merlin I'm...Oh GOD!" Merlin felt Arthur's impending orgasm and fucked him harder, his eyes never leaving Arthur's face as the pleasure ripped through him and he came all over both of their stomachs in what felt like a never ending stream of hot white liquid.

Merlin let go then, coming inside Arthur with a force that seemed it might break Arthur in two. He bit his lip top stop himself from saying the words that sprang his lips, words of love and affection that he most definitely did not feel. _He was in totally control._

Merlin pulled out and resisted the temptation to lick all of Arthur's come off his stomach, landing back into the real world with a plop. He lay down beside Arthur and let the other man pull him into his arms, "That was...fuck Merlin, that was...I..._fuck_," articulated Arthur, still catching his breath.

"I know," agreed Merlin as Arthur kissed his lips and cupped his chin to look into his eyes. Arthur rubbed his forehead against his and settled down, closing his eyes, ready for sleep. Merlin shufted slightly and turned out the light, staying in Arthur's embrace.

Merlin stared at the darkened ceiling, his unblinking eyes making shapes in the darkness. He could hear Arthur's breathing change as he fell asleep. Merlin did not close his eyes. It had worked a treat, he had known Arthur would not be able to resist him if he woke up to find Merlin half naked in bed with him; the man thought with his dick after all. He had planned some more of the same, a blow job mostly likely; how had he ended up actually fucking Arthur? _He_ had asked _Arthur_. Arthur was the one who had enjoyed a few too many tots the evening before, Merlin was completely sober – so what had happened? Did it matter? He had just had the best sex of his life, and he had stayed in control – absolutely no problem! One step closer to total heartbreak for Arthur Pendragon.

* * * *

**OK, I know, Merlin is being a real little shit. I kind of like it.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Merlin belongs to the Beeb.**

**Happy Easter folks. I've written this chapter a gazillion times, and I just couldn't get Arthur to be jealous; I mean he is jealous, but not in the way I wanted. Sorry!**

**Chapter 10**

Arthur was smitten again. Although_ again_ was not really the right way to word this as he had never really been _un_-smitten, Merlin had always been the one for him; and if he hadn't royally fucked it all up four years ago then his life would probably be a lot different now. He'd have gone away to university and moved in with Merlin has planned; he might have kept up with his writing instead of merely dabbling in it as he did nowadays and Merlin would still love him. Arthur was kind of hoping that this was it, this was his second chance; Merlin might love him again. He knew he didn't deserve it, but he wanted it; he wanted Merlin so badly that the thought of him leaving again, without him, might well finish him off. The last few years had been so empty, he had not realised _how_ empty until Merlin came back – _only six days ago _– and had let Arthur back into his life.

As he lay in bed beside Merlin he had listened to the early morning noises of the waking world, birdsong, milk carts, church bells and Merlin's Mum getting up and going to work. Merlin had stirred, sleep dazed blue eyes capturing his and Arthur had not been able to help himself; he'd gone down on him, finding his own release in the pleasure of Merlin's breathy moaning and grasping hands in Arthur's hair as he came. Arthur wanted to do that to Merlin every day for the rest of their natural lives. He didn't know why he loved him; he only knew that he did. Merlin made his heart beat faster; he was his muse.

The morning sounds became greater in volume as the rest of the world began to stir. Merlin had gone back to sleep in a post orgasmic haze, Arthur was content to simply watch him sleep, loving how long his lashes were against his wondrous cheeks, his pink lips, the unruly black hair; the way he huffed and puffed in his sleep and wriggled if Arthur touched him. A repetitive knocking dragged Arthur from his happy place, someone was at the front door. Probably the postman he concluded and slid out of bed before donning the robe hanging on the back of the door and padding downstairs.

Wiping the sleep from his eyes he opened the front door and couple of inches and peered through the gap. It was not the postman. It was a girl. With a suitcase. A very elegantly dressed girl, or rather young woman, with a very familiar face. Arthur's heart sank through the floor. This was someone he had chosen to block out.

"Um, hello," said Gwen, eyes widening at the sight of Arthur in a very short robe and obviously not a lot else. "Is this number 2 Avalon Street? I'm looking for Merlin."

Arthur did not know how to handle this. He wanted to slam the door shut in her face, banish her from being within a hundred miles of _his_ Merlin. What the hell was she doing here? Merlin was back with him now, wasn't he? Well, nothing had been said _officially_ between them...but Merlin wasn't the cheating type, and maybe Arthur _had_ assumed too much, they just hadn't discussed Gwen, she was just a picture in a magazine to Arthur, not a real person he had to worry about, a two dimensional photograph; part of him hadn't wanted to ask because he hadn't want to feel the pain if the answer hadn't been what he had hoped to hear.

She was pretty, all mocha skin and brown eyes, shiny long hair. Her eyes were kind, friendly – curious. Arthur realised he was staring and had not answered her question. _Answer the question Pendragon._ He glared at her and opened the door wide enough to invite entry, letting her have an eyeful of his rugby player thighs as he turned and walked back into the belly of the house. It seemed this was how he was going to handle it; hostile takeover – he was going to fight for Merlin.

He threw a glance over his shoulder; Gwen was still standing in the doorway, totally nonplussed. "Are you coming in or what? I'll just tell Merlin you're here." No gentlemanly offer to help her with her luggage, no smile. This woman was his rival; but Arthur knew he had the advantage - Merlin was still in bed sleeping off the amazing sex he had shared with _him_.

Leaving Gwen to her own devices, Arthur took the stairs slowly, making sure that if she looked up, she would get more than she bargained for; it was a_ very_ short robe. He then went to the bathroom before going back into the bedroom to wake Merlin. He was going to be totally cool about this, he wasn't worried, nor was he jealous. _Who are you trying to kid?_ His stomach was twisted into knots, barbed wire was tightening around his heart.

"Merlin, wake up, someone's here."

Sleeping beauty groaned and turned onto his front.

"_Merlin_. Time to get up. Gwen is at the door."

"Ung...er..._what_?" Merlin scrambled out of bed, suddenly wide awake. "Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. What time is it? Has she seen you?" Suddenly realising he was naked Merlin grabbed the boxers that were hanging off the end of the bed and pulled them on – Arthur's boxers. "Oh God – Arthur – _has she seen you_?"

"I answered the door to her; of course she's bloody seen me." _More of me than any other woman since Sophia._ "Merlin, calm down."

Merlin was scrabbling around trying to get dressed. "You have to go Arthur."

"What? Why?"

"Gwen...she's my _girlfriend_. She can't know that I've been shagging my ex. You – have – to – go. NOW."

"You're kicking me out?"

"My _girlfriend_ is here. GIRL. FRIEND." Merlin began to gather Arthur's clothes off the floor before throwing them in his general direction. "Get dressed."

He turned on his heel and left the room, leaving Arthur staring after him, the slow trickling sensation of humiliation seeping through his body like poison. Merlin's girlfriend. Merlin's _girlfriend_. Merlin didn't care about him. Why hadn't he listened to the little voice, or taken notice of the bloody elephant in the room? Numbly he got dressed and plodded downstairs.

Gwen's suitcase was abandoned in the hallway, the living room door half open, drawing Arthur closer; he pushed the door wide and was rewarded with the vision of Merlin sitting on the end of the sofa, eyes closed, Gwen on his lap raining kisses over his face, her fingers in his hair – _where Arthur's had been only hours before_ – Merlin's eyes flew open as if he had sensed he was being watched. Arthur felt physical pain then at the triumph in Merlin's eyes, understanding dawning as the knife twisted. _Merlin had been playing him_. As if rooted to the spot Arthur watched in horror as Merlin drew Gwen into a deep kiss, his eyes still locked with his. Why couldn't he move? His legs were paralysed. It was only when Merlin closed his eyes that his spell on Arthur was broken and Arthur managed to stagger from the room and out of the front door.

* * * *

Merlin heard Arthur leave, immediately breaking off the kiss with Gwen and gently pushing her away. "Merlin, what's wrong?" she asked nervously, biting her lip.

"Nothing," he lied, surprised he managed to formulate that one word after the effort he had just put into his latest performance. He didn't need to keep that particular act up; Arthur had understood all too well, Merlin had seen it in his eyes. _He had won_.

It was sooner than planned; he had not anticipated Gwen getting an earlier flight to surprise him. He had not intended Gwen to be dragged into this sorry mess at all, the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her; she was sweetness itself. He'd rushed downstairs to greet her; relieved when she'd immediately bought his story about Arthur being an old friend who had stayed over after a few drinks. The only way forward then was to keep her occupied so that when Arthur came downstairs he wouldn't blow the story; hence the little show Arthur had witnessed.

Really it had all worked out perfectly; last night he had heard Arthur whisper that he loved him when he's thought he was sleeping, he had fallen into Merlin's trap faster than anticipated. He wouldn't have to keep pretending to like Arthur, he was saved from spending any more time in his company and from enduring having the blond touch him. Yeah, like _that_ had been such a hardship. Something _had_ been hard most of the time he spent with Arthur... No, this was better. It had been tiring him out anyway, acting a part all the time; now he could go back to normal.

He kissed Gwen's forehead, "Do you fancy some breakfast?"

"Mm, please," she slid off his lap to the seat beside him, squeezing his hand. "I missed you Merlin."

"I missed you too," and he was lying again. He'd hardly given her a thought since laying eyes on Arthur again. He'd make it up to her now though; she was only here for two days, her schedule meant she couldn't even make the wedding. OK, so he'd slept with Arthur; that hadn't been cheating though had it? He was just getting his own back, it hadn't meant anything; _it didn't count as cheating. _

He set about making breakfast, Gwen perched at the breakfast bar watching him with amused eyes; Merlin always made far more mess than the occasion warranted when it came to cooking. "Is your friend staying for breakfast?"

"No, he left already. I doubt I'll be seeing him again whilst I'm in town."

* * * *

Arthur didn't even bother phoning work to tell them he wouldn't be in. He made it home once through the door he sat in his favourite armchair, vaguely wondering if this was how Merlin had felt when he had found him with Sophia. He didn't move all day, the morning light turned slowly to rainy gloom outside and dusk took hold; sucking the light from the day. It was only the need to pee that forced Arthur to move; the overwhelming need to get clean, standing in the shower until his skin was all wrinkled. Without bothering to dry himself he lay on his bed, curtains wide, staring at the stars. The doorbell rang a couple of times, and he had heard his phone vibrate in his jacket pocket. They could all wait.

He should have realised what Merlin was doing. Of course Merlin hadn't forgiven him; he'd pointedly avoided the subject of what had happened to split them up before. He'd been deliberately playing with him, and Arthur had let him; his feelings for Merlin blinding him to the truth.

He had to have today. Tomorrow his Pendragon spirit would rally and he would carry on as though his heart wasn't broken into a million tiny pieces. Pendragon's didn't wallow.

* * * *

**See what I mean? He obviously is jealous, but it's more that he's broken. Sometimes the boys just won't behave.**

**Reviews are chocolate on Easter Sunday. (Believe me I need it, not had a single egg!) Thanks. xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Merlin belongs to the BBC.**

**Not one single teeny weeny chocolate bar came my way over Easter. OK, so Lush bath bombs are an acceptable alternative but they taste bad! So this chapter is written on the self induced chocolate high that followed me going to Sainsburys and buying a load of half priced left over eggs and stuffing my face. Nom nom. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 11**

On Saturday morning Arthur gave in to the barrage and answered the front door to an angry Morgana. "Where the hell have you been?" she threw at him as she marched into the living room.

"Do come in," said Arthur sarcastically, glaring pointedly at his step-sister. "What can I do for you Morgana?"

"For fuck's sake Arthur, you've been MIA since yesterday morning. Uther said you didn't show up for work; then I had Lance on the phone worried that he couldn't get hold of you to go to some stag do. I've been round here three times already, I bloody knew you were here all along," her face softened when she saw the look on his face. "Come on Arthur, what's going on?"

"Can't a man have an off day every now and then?"

"He can. You never have them Arthur; hence my concern now."

God, Morgana was like a dog with a bone sometimes. "I don't want to talk about it OK?"

"No."

"Morgana!" Arthur threw himself into the reassuring comfort of his armchair and folded his arms defiantly, already knowing he was going to tell her everything, because she was Morgana and somehow she always managed to get what she wanted; and _dammit_ because he trusted her.

* * * *

"Merlin, what's going on?" Gwen laced a hand into Merlin's larger palm and drew him down to sit on a wooden bench beside her. They were enjoying a walk in the winter sunshine; Gwen had wanted to see the 'sights' of Camelot.

"What do you mean?" Merlin knew exactly what she meant, but he didn't want to be the one to say it.

"You're not yourself. You've been so quiet. Last night we didn't...er..." she was biting her lip, looking up at him with such trusting eyes the Merlin instantly felt like such a heel. The initial euphoria of his triumph over Arthur had faded fast, leaving him with a bitter taste in his mouth and guilt hanging round his neck like a lead albatross. He told himself it was only guilt about Gwen.

"I feel funny about...you know...in my Mum's house," he said, knowing full well that had not stopped him the night before with Arthur. Shocked, Merlin realised he had turned into a seasoned liar; was there anyone he was being honest with at the moment? He'd lied his back teeth off to Arthur, he'd totally bullshitted Freya and Will about Arthur and he was lying to Gwen now, because of Arthur. _ Everything_ was Arthur's fault.

This wasn't him. He was not this person; the liar who cheats on his girlfriend and gives it a different label to justify it to himself. He owed it to her to come clean; she deserved someone who appreciated her, loved her; was faithful to her. "Gwen..."

"MERLIN EMRYS!"

Merlin jumped; he was used to being recognised and having people call out to him in the street, but this voice sounded furious! Both his and Gwen's head turned in unison to watch a vaguely familiar woman storming towards them across the square at an unnatural speed; her long dark hair flying out behind like a superhero's cape. She was upon them in moments, her fist flying out and connecting with Merlin's jaw with a 'thwack'.

"Hey!" exclaimed Gwen as Merlin's eyes rolled back in his head and he clutched his jaw.

"That's for Arthur you arrogant dick," said his attacker as she shook her fist and wiggled her fingers before offering the hand to Gwen. "Hello, you must be Gwen. I'm Morgana LeFay. Your boyfriend is a cheating tool. Want to get a coffee?" She held out a hand to Gwen, and Merlin watched in horrified amazement as Gwen shot a murderous glare at Merlin, took Morgana's hand and followed her.

Merlin was literally too gobsmacked to move. Had he really just been punched in the face by Arthur's _sister_? What the hell had Arthur been telling the woman? He was a cheater? Merlin? OK, so he'd been about to confess, and he had been pipped to the post by Morgana, which was bad, very bad; but to call _him_ the cheater? His head whirled. Arthur was the bad guy, not him.

"Wait – Gwen!" Merlin shot to his feet and made to go after the two girls, stopping dead in his tracks as they both simultaneously turned their heads and shot him identical looks that said 'back off'. Merlin slumped back onto the bench and groaned. Now what was he going to do?

He didn't know how long he stayed there, replaying everything in his head and finding no answers; but it did dawn on him then _where_ he was. He was on a bench in the square – right outside Arthur's flat. Not wanting to, but unable to stop himself, he turned around and found Arthur's window, sighing with relief when he saw the curtains were closed. He wandered if Arthur was inside. Was he OK? What was he feeling? Not that he cared, well he did, but only in that he hoped Arthur was miserable and hurting like he was.

* * * *

Unluckily for Merlin, Arthur _had_ witnessed the scene outside in the square as the catalyst for Morgana's attack on Merlin had been Arthur's telling her what had been happening, including that they had been a couple four years ago. His step-sister had been shocked, wanting to know why they had kept it a secret. He told her that Merlin hadn't wanted to; it was Arthur who was unwilling to come out and incur the consequences of telling Uther, so they had kept their relationship secret from everyone.

Arthur had certainly not anticipated Morgana's reaction when he got the end of the sorry tale, the part where Merlin rips his heart out and feeds it to the sharks. "I'm going to fucking kill him," she had said, getting up and pacing the room. She'd looked out the window then, and was heading for the door before Arthur even realised what was happening. He'd gone to the window and seen Merlin holding hands with Gwen on one of the benches in the square outside, the betrayal paralysing him to the spot as he saw Morgana approach the couple and then deck Merlin. Pissed off with himself for wanting to go out there and see if Merlin was OK, Arthur had drawn the curtains and blocked out the world before crawling back into bed and burying his head under the pillow.

* * * *

"I've blown it with Gwen," Merlin confessed to his Uncle Gaius as the old man pottered around making tea. This was the first chance he'd had to pop in to see his favourite uncle who wasn't really an uncle, more a family friend and mentor, and he wished he'd done it sooner. Uncle Gaius had a strange kind of calming presence that always made Merlin feel safe.

"Gwen's the pretty actress?" said Gaius, placing a steaming mug of tea in front of Merlin and a plate of custard creams before joining him at the table. Merlin nodded. "How have you blown it my boy? Does this have anything to do with the bruise on your chin?"

"By sleeping with my ex in a pathetic effort to have my revenge for something that happened years ago," confessed Merlin bluntly.

"Oh," Gaius raised an eyebrow. "I see. That doesn't sound like you Merlin."

"I didn't think so either Gaius, but it was me who plotted and planned and sat in my web waiting for my pray," he hung his head. "I've hurt Gwen, she went off with Morgana LeFay, and now I have no idea where she's gone."

"I'm sure she's fine, I know Morgana, she'll be taking good care of the girl. Now, who is this 'pray'?"

Merlin sighed and hung his head, "Arthur Pendragon."

"Uther's son? Oh Merlin..." Gaius shook his head sadly.

"How do you know Uther?"

"I've known Uther, and Arthur, for many years. I was best man at Uther's wedding to Morgana's mother." Gaius smiled at the memory and he shook it away before asking, "What happened between you and Arthur?"

Merlin told him about finding Arthur in bed with Sophia. Gaius looked surprised, "Do you mean the red head; Uther's PA?"

"Um, yeah; she was obsessed with Arthur, always trying to get him alone. She succeeded." Merlin scowled. Bitter much?

"If you found Arthur with her it really was a onetime thing Merlin; I haven't seen her since near Arthur...well, probably since around the time you left Camelot." He dunked a biscuit in his tea a chewed it thoughtfully. "I must say I'm surprised at Arthur; and don't think you're off the hook either, it's one thing to hurt someone unintentionally, but to deliberately set out to break someone's heart is cruel."

Merlin didn't want to hear it. "Arthur deserved it Uncle Gaius, he broke my heart...and what do you mean you're 'surprised at Arthur'?"

"Arthur never dates anyone; he works long hours and spends most of his free time alone unless he's helping Morgana at the cafe or playing rugby. I can't equate your version of Arthur with mine."

"Yeah, well...you're not there to see what he does most of the time are you? I saw him out the other night with Lance DuLac; he can't be as much of a loner as you are making him sound."

"You've been back in Camelot for a week Merlin; you haven't been here for the last four years so your own version might be a little biased."

Merlin chewed his lip as Gaius changed the subject. In his head Arthur had been something of a playboy in recent years, breaking hearts left right and centre; callously discarding people in the manner he had discarded Merlin. If he was wrong about that...maybe Arthur _had_ changed, maybe he regretted cheating on him; maybe it was a one off mistake and not an act that had set the pattern for the rest of his life.

For the first time Merlin began to feel a small seed of doubt at what he had done, and the weight of the guilt around his neck tripled.

He had to talk to Gwen.

* * * *

There was something mildly surreal about the situation Arthur now found himself in; in fact if he didn't know better he would have thought he was dreaming. _Surreal and somewhat awkward_. Arthur was in The Red Lion with Morgana and Gwen. Only yesterday morning Arthur had been sucking her boyfriend's cock, before being rather rude to her then giving her a gratuitous display of his own backside. How was it Morgana was always able to manipulate him into doing things he didn't want to do?

"Come on you two, you should be friends, you've got a common enemy," Morgana sang, pouring them all a generous glass of red wine.

Gwen blushed which only served to make Arthur feel guilty. "Look Gwen, I'm sorry. I knew he had someone...you, but the way he was with me led me to believe... I don't know you so I didn't think about you." _Smooth Pendragon, really really smooth._ He snatched up his glass of wine and took a huge swig; letting the velvet liquid calm him as it hit his stomach. Mmm, better.

"It's OK – really, it's not your fault. Though you could have been a little _nicer_ and to me yesterday," she smiled and patted his hand, giving it a supportive squeeze, as though she was not the one recently cuckolded. Arthur decided then and there he liked Gwen very much. To hell with Merlin.

"Great!" exclaimed Morgana. "That's that sorted then; now we're all friends...let's get drunk!"

The unlikely trio, later joined by Lance at Arthur's invitation, spent the evening getting slowly hammered, playing classic rock songs on the juke box and singing along. Arthur found that he and Gwen actually got like a house on fire once the awkwardness and a couple of glasses of vino had flowed under the bridge; how could you not like someone who knew all the words to 'Livin' on a Prayer' and was not afraid to show it?

* * * *

Unable to find Gwen, who was ignoring her mobile phone, Merlin spent the remainder of the evening alone.

* * * *

**Sorry it's a bit disjointed folks. Do we feel sorry for lonely Merlin?**

**Please review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Merlin belongs to the BBC.**

**Hi folks. Again, thanks for reviews and alerts etc. **

**Chapter 12**

The day of Freya and Will's wedding was, unfortunately for them, wet, windy and decidedly grey. Arthur was probably the only person who was thanking Zeus that everyone was huddled under umbrellas outside the church in that uncomfortable lull after the service when no one really knows what they are supposed to be doing. Umbrellas were good for hiding under. The whole experience was, quite frankly, exceedingly dull; Arthur had always hated weddings and he bitterly resented his obligation to attend this one as the Pendragon representative. Thank heaven Morgana had agreed to be his plus one.

Morgana, in contrast to her step-brother, loved weddings; she enjoyed the social commentary of who was wearing what, particularly what the bride was wearing. Freya's simple white dress had received Morgana's thumbs up; the appalling weather had not. She was huddled into Arthur, shivering dramatically and complaining her feet were wet; Arthur had never understood women's footwear – three inch heels and two straps then moaning about getting wet feet – _honestly. _ She had spent most of the service bitching in a low whisper about Merlin, who had been stood at the altar doing his best man thing; a selection of insults about his personality, appearance and morals. Arthur had tried to tune her out; half of him touched that she was sticking up for him, the other half wishing she would shut the feck up and stop reminding him of the reason for the hole in his heart.

He had not looked directly at Merlin throughout the whole darned wedding, and was planning on making his escape from the reception the moment that the cake was cut. If they ever got there this was; what was going on? – were they going to do photos here at the church in the rain or could they actually get going to the reception at some point?

Slowly, without any sort of organisation or announcements, guests started to trickle to nearby parked cars, sloshing through the rain, mismatched umbrellas combined with brightly dressed ladies in silly hats. Supporting Morgana by holding her arm firmly, Arthur led her towards the road where his car was parked under an old oak tree.

He just wanted today to be over, so he could get on with picking up the pieces, and this time for good. These last few years he had held Merlin on a pedestal; the one who got away, the one he had betrayed, the only one Arthur had ever wanted to be with. There must be someone else out there for him surely? He hadn't been _living_ these last few years, and the fact that it had taken Merlin to bring him back to life only sought to remind him that he was wasting his life. He had buried himself under the responsibilities of being the Pendragon heir; get a first class degree, work hard and be successful, be the son his father wanted to be. After Merlin had left this was all that had driven him; his main pleasure in life being to lose himself in the great outdoors, dreaming up storylines for his writing but never getting farther than making a few notes because he had lost his inspiration with Merlin's departure; existing but not _living_. He kept in touch with a few friends from school, had made a few at uni; Lance was the only person he really spent any length of time with, other than Morgana. He knew both of them worried about his self imposed solitude but eventually each one had given up challenging him about it and just let him be. Of course, Morgana was now in full possession of the facts and she was playing the supportive sister very well; more than _playing_, he knew she cared, he just hadn't let her before.

"Arthur?" They had just reached the car, Arthur's finger was on the blipper ready to unlock the doors. He froze. Merlin. He _did not_ want to do this now. Preferably never.

"Hit the road loser," Morgana hissed as they turned to the source of the voice, pulling herself closer to Arthur in an endearingly protective gesture. "He doesn't want to talk to you; same as Gwen didn't want to talk to you this morning. Go away. Shouldn't you be doing something bestmanly anyway, like practicing your speech or something?"

Merlin blanched. Arthur was pleased to note Merlin couldn't look him in the eye and was looking almost squirming; hands in the pockets of his mourning suit, dark circles under his sad blue eyes that indicated lack of sleep. _Not that Arthur was looking, he didn't care_, but to say Merlin looked terrible would have been an understatement.

That morning, Lance had gone round to Merlin's Mums and collected her stuff for her so she could catch her flight. Lance had taken a real shine to Gwen; but with her just having found out her boyfriend had been sleeping with his ex he had been tactful enough not to put the moves on her. Gwen had been adamant the she did not want to see Merlin; any doubts she may have had about the truth behind Morgana's accusations of his cheating on her had been swept away when she had spent the evening in Arthur's company and seen how genuinely devastated he was, even if he was trying to hide it.

"_I was talking to Arthur_," said Merlin. He looked at him then, his eyes seemed to plead with Arthur and he felt himself waver for a moment. "Can we talk?"

"No." _You don't need this_. He pressed the button and the car unlocked with a flash of orange lights. "You don't have anything to say that I could ever want to hear." He opened the car door and helped Morgana into the low seat. Closing the door he flashed Merlin a look of what he hoped was intense dislike and walked casually around to the driver's side and climbed in. Without a backward glance he started the engine and pulled away.

"Well done," said Morgana, patting Arthur's knee. "You did good."

It didn't feel good. Despite it all, something was screaming inside him to turn back, take Merlin in his arms and hold him until his eyes were smiling again. What was _wrong_ with him? "Thanks for sticking your oar in Morg; your loyalty is appreciated," he smiled grimly, thinking of the rest of the day stretched out ahead of them. Luckily the reception was at Pendragon Hotel, so Arthur could escape quite easily into an office, or an unused room or bloody anywhere he liked should the need arise.

"You're welcome," she shuddered at the cold, and began fiddling with the car heating controls. "To think I thought he was _gorgeous_ the other day when he rocked up at the cafe. I must have been bonkers."

"He is gorgeous," sighed Arthur. "His behaving like this hasn't changed the fact that I still want to fu..._you know_."

"Oh Arthur," she had stopped messing with the dials and was now playing with the stereo trying to find a radio station that met her approval. "He doesn't deserve you."

_No_, Arthur didn't deserve Merlin; because when it boiled down to it, despite water under the bridge and a zillion other clichés – this whole sorry mess was of his own doing.

*****

_That went well_. Merlin watched Arthur and Morgana glide away in the ridiculously expensive looking green sports car that screamed Pendragon; his heart pumping erratically, a frown frozen on his face. What a bloody mess.

He hadn't slept last night, going over and over in his mind what had happened, questioning his own actions; mostly in regards to Arthur, but also to do with Gwen. He had made himself into the person he had always hated Arthur for being; someone who cheated. The worst part was, he hadn't even realised he was doing it, or if he had it just hadn't registered, so caught up had he been with getting his own back on Arthur. Gwen had been stuck in the middle; _collateral damage_. Merlin was thoroughly ashamed of himself for having done that to her; such a lovely sweet girl who had been nothing but loyal and faithful to him. He realised he wasn't in love with her; although for a time he had let himself believe he was. Someone in love does not totally disregard their loved one for some petty revenge plot and they certainly do not sleep with the person they are trying to get revenge upon without giving the other person a second thought. He, Merlin Emrys, was a two timing _idiot_.

After his night of not sleeping, Lance's arrival to pick up Gwen's stuff hadn't been registered as more than a blip in the fog that were his thoughts at that moment. She'd sent a note; _Merlin, Wake up and smell the coffee, Gwen_. The smelling the coffee quote was a line from the film they had been in together. Between the lines, Gwen was telling him to make it up to Arthur.

How could he have been so _flippant_ about the whole thing? Casually playing with someone's feelings like they were nothing? What the fuck was wrong with him? He felt as though this last week, since seeing Arthur again, someone else had possessed his body, someone who was capable of being such a _wanker_, because the real Merlin wasn't like that. There had to be more to it than revenge. Merlin didn't want to admit what the 'more' might be, because even if it was what he was beginning to suspect, it didn't change anything.

As Arthur's car turned the corner and headed for the wedding reception Merlin made his way to his way to where his Mum and Gaius were waiting in Gaius's much loved old Morris Minor; luckily out of sight of where the encounter with Arthur had just taken place. Merlin did not think he could face Gaius's knowing look or his Mother's concerned one. He sank into the soft old leather of the car and buckled up; plotting all the way to the hotel on how to get Arthur to talk to him, though what he was actually going to say he did not know. For the first time in several years; Merlin did not have a plan.

"Nervous about the speech Merlin?" asked Hunith, obviously trying to find the reason behind her son's subdued demeanour and he had not told her about Gwen's rapid exit from his life yet.

"No Mum, I'm an actor remember; if I can go on stage naked I can do a best man's speech!" Merlin referred to a play he had been in a couple of years ago where he had been required to strip down to his altogether; Hunith had been to the show, as had Gaius and half of Camelot as Hunith had organised a coach trip to see it as she was very proud of her little boy. The conversation on the coach on the way home had been more about how not so little Merlin was; but Hunith had blocked that part out.

No, he wasn't nervous in the slightest about the speech; there was just one person he wasn't looking forward to standing up in front of, and that person had just blown him out when he'd tried talking to him. It was going to be a long day...

*****

Arthur was contemplating his escape. He'd made polite conversation with the randoms he'd been seated with; it seemed he and Morgana had been seated at a table full of the obligatory long lost Great Aunts and family friends that have not seen the bride or groom since they were toddlers. They had eaten – the food was fantastic of course as this was Pendragon Hotel– and the speeches had been given. Arthur had made sure he was visiting the loo for the best man's speech; he really could not face Merlin, even from across the room. When he'd arrived back at the table Morgana had reluctantly admitted that the speech had been really funny, Merlin had done a good job. Arthur felt a twinge of pride before mentally berating himself for such folly.

He had decided to stay until the couple had their first dance as there was no cake to cut, after that he was definitely leaving; for some reason Arthur was strangely fascinated by the songs people chose as their first dance at weddings – the hotel wedding organiser kept a tally in her office, and occasionally the staff would hold a sweepstake. Half of him hoped Will and Freya would be predictable and go for 'Everything I do' or his personal favourite of all the front runners, U2's 'All I Want is You'.

Merlin walked to the centre of the dance floor, a multi coloured disco ball glittering on his dark head, holding a microphone, "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the happy couple who will now lead the first dance!" He clapped and all the guests, other than Arthur who had one foot ready to head towards door, joined him as Will and Freya made their way into the middle and sort of shuffled into each other as the music started.

Arthur found he was impressed by their choice of song; no Bryan Adams, Elton John or Take That; but one his personal favourite songs Fyfe Dangerfield's 'When You Walk in the Room". The couple didn't so much as dance as sway on the spot. He lingered longer than he had planned, letting the music wash over him, watching Morgana as she flirted shamelessly with Leon the bar man; she had already told him she would make her own way home, obviously hoping Leon would escort her.

Without warning, as he had thought he was doing OK, a huge wave of despair swept over him as Fyfe crooned 'I want you endlessly...', and Arthur had to lean on nearby chair for support. Too late he realised Merlin was there, right next to him, a determined look in his eye, "Arthur, can we have that talk now?"

In that moment Arthur hated Merlin_. Hated him._ Can we have that talk? Not a chance! He wanted to be as far away from Merlin Emrys as possible. Ignoring the curious looks of other wedding guests as the celebrity among them tried in vain to get his attention, Arthur span on his heel. Blanking Merlin completely he made his way towards the door, escape the only thing he could concentrate on. If he didn't get away from Merlin he could not be held responsible for his actions.

Merlin caught Arthur's arm as he walked away; Arthur shook his arm free, sending Merlin stumbling back against the gift table with a crash. "Get your hands off me!" he shouted, not caring that people were starting to stare, he marched for the exit, not noticing Merlin recover himself and run after him until they were in the dimly lit corridor and he spoke again.

"Arthur, come on – be reasonable."

"Reasonable?" Arthur felt anything but. He didn't want to look at Merlin but he knew he had to. "Do you think what you did was _reasonable_?"

Merlin gulped, his gaze frozen to Arthur's furious one.

"When you...found me that time, with Sop...with _her_ – I know that I fucked up OK? I was there, I can't deny it, but I don't even remember how I got there. All I know is...I..._fuck_...I woke up and she was there doing _that_ and _you_ were there and it all went to shit." He ran a hand through his hair; going back over this was hard for him, he'd spent the last few years trying to block it out. "But _you_ Merlin, you _deliberately_ set out to fuck me over. What I did wasn't planned...it just _happened_. So no, I can't be _reasonable_."

"Arthur..." Merlin began, stepping closer. Arthur saw red and before he even realised what he was doing he had launched himself at Merlin and had him against the wall the by the scruff of his scrawny neck.

"Don't talk to me. I want _nothing_ to do with you." His fury wavered slightly at the pained look on Merlin's face, and he was about to release his grip and walk away when from somewhere behind him someone said:

"Would someone care to explain what is going on here?"

Arthur let go of Merlin and turned around, dread bubbling in his stomach when he recognised the voice. He vaguely noted the small crowd that had gathered in the corridor, obviously having followed Merlin and him out after the scuffle in the other room, before meeting the angry gaze of Uther Pendragon. _Fuck_.

* * * *

**A/N: I actually spent most of yesterday at a wedding; and much to my annoyance there was no fight. All the best weddings have a fight!**

**Next chapter should be up in next day or so; am trying to get out quickly as going to Devon on Friday; going to be too busy eating ice cream and paddling to write.**

**Please review. x**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Merlin belongs to me...er...I mean the BBC. Damn.**

**Why won't characters do as they are told? These two have been rather naughty; when they should have been talking they went all smutty. Not my fault, I tried!**

**Warnings for over use of the F word and adult boyxboy sexual content. Thanks for reading.**

**Chapter 13**

The knock on the door came the following day just as Merlin was getting out of the shower. He had half anticipated this might happen. Thankful that Hunith was at Gaius's helping him prepare for his Christmas party, Merlin answered the summons; standing back from the door to wordlessly let the caller in, hyper aware he was only wearing a towel slung low over his hips.

He followed the visitor into the large kitchen, the nearest open door, where the man had already started to pace. Merlin folded his arms protectively over his naked chest and waited for the other to speak.

"I thought we had an agreement."

"That was four years ago; I didn't think my promise to leave town extended to attending my best friend's wedding or visiting my mother for Christmas," Merlin watched the other man closely. "This is the first time I've been in Camelot for four years."

"Yet still you land straight in the arms of my son," replied Uther Pendragon, his steely eyes cold. "We had a deal. You took the money. You were supposed to stay gone."

"Perhaps I want more money."

Uther was reaching into his suit pocket for his cheque book without even blinking. Merlin laughed, "You really are a sad man you know that?" He closed his eyes briefly. "How much is your son worth to you? What about what _he_ wants?"

"What Arthur wants is no concern of yours," Uther sneered as he scrawled a figure on the cheque book before tearing it off and handing it to Merlin, looking him up and down as he did so, as if assessing what on earth his son saw in him. "_You leave today_."

"God, Arthur had no chance with you as his father." Merlin glanced at the cheque - _£100,000_, double the amount of the last one. "It's Christmas Eve. I leave the day after Boxing Day."

"_Fine_, just see that you stay away from my son."

"I think I'm the last person he wants to see." Merlin said truthfully, moving past Uther, holding open the front door with one hand and using the other to make sure he didn't lose his towel. "_Merry Christmas_."

Uther was gone, the whole transaction having taken less than five minutes. Merlin looked at the cheque sadly before folding it and placing it on the microwave, rubbing his neck uncomfortably.

"_You fucking arsehole_." Merlin stilled, the reason for the discomfort in his neck becoming apparent. He spun round; Arthur was in the doorway, the expression on his face mirrored that of his father; ice cold.

"Arthur it's not what -"

"Not what it seems?" Arthur prowled closer. "I didn't just see you accept money off my father to leave town; I didn't hear him say that you had taken money from him four years ago? Maybe my hearing is playing up, because that's what it sounded like to me."

This looked really bad. He had to make Arthur understand... "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I followed my Father; I knew he was up to something and that it had to do with you. The way he talked about you last night – _as if he knew you_... I was suspicious; and it looks like I was right to be so." Blue eyes blazed fury at Merlin now. "You _hypocrite_; you were leaving me anyway; I just played into your hands didn't I? My father had paid you off." His eyes flashed with rage and he was another step closer.

Merlin backed up, meeting the kitchen table with a bump, "No I..."

Arthur stalked up to him, "Shut fucking your mouth; every word that comes out of it is a _lie_." Arthur covered his mouth with his, thrusting his tongue inside, making Merlin whimper with need. Turning Merlin around roughly Arthur pushed him into the table. Arthur pressed his head down and made him lean against it, leaning forward to whisper, "Time _I_ had _my_ revenge."

Merlin should be fighting this, but he was too turned on to care. Arthur only had to touch him and he came undone; he should have realised sooner – only Arthur could ever make him feel like this.

Merlin closed his eyes as Arthur tugged the towel off and threw it to the floor; the cool marble of the table against his cheek and bare chest. A single finger grazed the curve of his bottom and slipped down, roughly circling his entrance.

Pushing back against the finger Merlin groaned, desperately needing to feel it inside him but Arthur stilled his hips with one his other hand. "Like that do you?" he murmured and Merlin whimpered, nodding.

Arthur traced teasing strokes around the hole before roughly pushing his finger in without preamble, causing Merlin to cry out and squirm against the table. Thrusting his finger back and forth Arthur bent over Merlin, biting his neck sharply and swirling his tongue in his ear, nibbling and sucking. "I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll be spoiled for anyone else," he promised.

"Yes..."

Merlin was struggling to breathe, his heart was beating itself out of his chest; nothing had ever felt so right and yet Arthur was acting in anger... He tried to process the thought, he should stop him, push him away and stop this before it went too far...then the sensation from Arthur probing another finger in his entrance made him gasp and all coherent thought left him.

Arthur plundered Merlin's arse, curling his fingertips violently against Merlin's sweet spot and causing him to cry out, unable to stay still through the onslaught he bucked against Arthur's hand.

Withdrawing his fingers Arthur stepped back and Merlin could hear clothes being removed and carelessly discarded. Merlin was painfully erect, desperate for release and the loss of Arthur's touch was too much, "Arthur, fuck me please," he begged, his arse shifting instinctively to allow better access.

Arthur hissed, sliding his cock along the crevice between Merlin's thighs. "You don't get it do you Merlin? _I_ decide when you get fucked."

Merlin was past caring, all that mattered was that he wanted Arthur inside him and he wanted it now.

Arthur's now naked chest was pressed against the length of Merlin's back, his fingers sliding into Merlin's mouth asking to be lubricated; Merlin willingly obliged, almost sobbing when Arthur removed his fingers and pushed them into Merlin's entrance again, adding the third finger, pushing hard. Free from Arthur's restraining grip, Merlin pushed back and impaled himself.

"So eager," Arthur whispered, threading his hand into Merlin's hair and pulling his head back, tracing his tongue over Merlin's lips before mirroring the rhythm of his fingers with his tongue, Merlin matching him with every stroke.

Arthur pulled out his fingers and aligned the head of his cock against Merlin's hole, "I'm going to make you come so hard," he groaned. Merlin's cock twitched at the declaration; wanting nothing more than Arthur to pound him into next week.

Arthur thrust into him then. Merlin gripped the edges of the table to steady himself. Pausing to gain control, Arthur's breathing was ragged in Merlin's ear. "Fuck you feel good," he rasped as Merlin pushed back against him. Arthur pulled out then before slamming back, hard and fast.

"Arthur, bloody hell...mmm...ah," Merlin bit out against the table, tightening his hold on the edges as Arthur began to thrust in and out at rapid speed. Pleasure and pain combined creating a kaleidoscope of pleasure; Merlin thought he might die from this and vaguely decided there couldn't be a better way to go.

Yanking his hair again, Arthur pulled Merlin upright and withdrew, flipping him over, plundering his mouth with his tongue, pumping his leaking cock as Merlin's head fell back to allow Arthur access to his neck to run his tongue across and down to capture a nipple between his teeth. Pulling out a chair from under the table Arthur sank onto it and Merlin straddled him, his own hand reaching down to explore Arthur's length, lining it up again and impaling himself upon it with a satisfied sigh. Using his feet as leverage, he began to move up and down, riding Arthur, burying him to the hilt again and again; leaning back slightly into the support of Arthur's embrace.

Merlin took hold of his own member and Arthur ceased his ministrations to his neck and batted his hand away, replacing it with his own and stroking up and down slowly before increasing speed in time with his own thrusts.

God he was close, Merlin had never known anything like this; he wanted, no _needed_ to prolong his release as long as possible, he wanted this to last forever. He leant in for a kiss, fucking his tongue into Arthur's mouth with a low groan. Arthur broke the kiss, "I want to see your face when you come." Their eyes met then, two pairs of stormy blue orbs, tipping Merlin over the edge as his orgasm struck and he spilled all over Arthur's hand, feeling like he would be coming forever; a moment later Arthur followed, shouting Merlin's name, filling Merlin with hot stickiness.

Merlin slumped against Arthur, his breath coming in spurts, heart pounding loudly in his ears. He closed his eyes, dreading the inevitable post orgasm rejection, knowing it was inevitable now; hoping Arthur had sated his anger and would let him explain about Uther and the money.

Arthur began to move, lifting Merlin off him, standing and starting to dress. Merlin stood without moving, not even to cover himself with the long abandoned towel. He wanted to reach out to Arthur but he couldn't; his legs were like lead weights, his arms pinned to his sides. Without looking at Merlin, Arthur finished dressing, bent to do up his shoe laces and exited via the kitchen door.

Merlin didn't know how long he stood there for; he heard the phone ringing in the hallway, heard it go to answer machine and heard his mother's concerned voice asking where he was as the party was in full swing. Merlin shook himself out of his stasis and went upstairs to get dressed. It was Christmas Eve, he'd come back to Camelot to see his mother, that was what he was going to do.

The last thing he felt like doing was going to a party and mingling but he had a part to play again; the good son. Not for him the jilted lover this evening; he would save that for when he was alone in bed later. Maybe he could work out a way to explain to Arthur; he knew it looked bad; he couldn't really blame Arthur for being angry... Angry Arthur meant hot sex if nothing else.

Hot _empty_ sex.

* * * *

Arthur left Merlin's in a daze and found himself at the stone circle in the dark, watching the Christmas lights twinkle over Camelot. What had just happened? Well, obviously he knew that he'd just thoroughly fucked Merlin, and both of them had been more than satisfied. Arthur was getting hard again just thinking about it. Pushing the sex to one side though – what the _hell_?

When he'd followed Uther earlier he'd been sure he was going to end up mistaken, it had only been a niggle based on something he had said the night before. Finding out that you're right when you really don't want to be is not a satisfying experience.

He could understand his father's motives for trying to pay off Merlin four years ago, though how he found out about their relationship when they had been so careful was anyone's guess. Uther wanted his only son to follow in his footsteps, his _straight_, heir producing size tens. He would deal with his father's betrayal later; it didn't even register next to Merlin's.

Arthur did not understand Merlin taking the bribe; and if he had, when? If it was before he caught him in the act with Sophia, then why? Why take money from Uther now? Arthur knew Merlin commanded high fees; he would hardly be in need of the money... It just didn't sit with Merlin's personality. _Did he even know Merlin at all?_ Had he ever? This Merlin was a callous bribe taking man who thought nothing of using people to get what he wanted. _Was that the real Merlin? _

He leant against the cool stone of the ancient megalith and sank to the floor, staring sightlessly at the clear sky, stars twinkling invitingly at him. God, he'd been so angry; ashamed now that he had been so turned on by his fury and had taken it out on Merlin, even if he had begged for it. Only Merlin could make him feel like that; anyone else and Arthur would have punched them, _not_ fucked their brains out.

Banging his head back against the stone Arthur acknowledged that he had to find some answers. His stupid heart wouldn't let him do anything else; his pathetic heart loved Merlin and needed to know the truth even if his logic was telling him that his old sweet, funny, loveable Merlin was dead and gone.

Tomorrow, he'd find him tomorrow. Tonight he needed to think and make sense of it all. He hoped his logic was wrong.

* * * *

**A/N: I have no idea where that came from I swear. I need to get out more it would seem!**

**Reviews are like finding the veggie burger stand at Download – bloody fantastic and very satisfying. Thank you in advance!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Merlin belongs to the Beeb.**

**Sorry, am later than planned posting this. I went to Devon for the weekend and had planned to write in the evenings but I'm afraid the sea air totally knocked me out! The sea is very inspiring though, so when this fic is done the next one will be set in Devon.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 14**

"You've got some bloody nerve, coming round here after what you did to Merlin," said Hunith when she opened her front door to find Arthur standing on the doorstep.

Arthur wondered with some amusement if she referred to him fucking Merlin over her kitchen table last night; or to some other crime against Merlin from before. As far as he knew, the angry woman before him had not known about his and Merlin's entanglement back in the day as Arthur's desperation to keep it a secret stretched to include Merlin's Mum because of her friendship with Gaius. "What did I do Mrs Emrys?" he asked innocently, deciding to face this head on.

The older woman coloured, "Coming between Merlin and Gwen. Such a lovely girl, perfect for Merlin..."

Arthur had to agree, Gwen was indeed a lovely girl, not perfect for Merlin though; Arthur Pendragon was perfect for Merlin. He hoped. If he could get to the bottom of this thing with his father; and get past the fact that Merlin had played him. Not to forget the part where Merlin had hated Arthur enough to go to the effort of playing him like he had. _It didn't look too good_.

"Is Merlin here?" Arthur ignored the accusation of coming between Merlin and Gwen, not wanting to point out Merlin's guilt in the scenario to his mother, although surely it was clear that Merlin had done the two timing to Gwen, Arthur hadn't held a gun to his head.

Arthur was rewarded with a fierce glare. "No, he's gone for a walk." She slammed the door in his face. Great; for all he knew Merlin could be inside stuffing his face with mince pies and chocolates, finding it highly amusing that Arthur had deigned to pay him a visit.

Sighing wearily, Arthur backed away from the doorstep and headed back towards his flat. If Merlin really was out for a walk then there was a reasonable chance they would bump into each other en route.

Arthur reached his flat without encountering his quarry. Disappointed he collapsed into the armchair, long legs stretched out before him, eyes closed. He'd been building up to the confrontation all day; suffering Christmas dinner with Uther and Morgana, suppressing every instinct he had to challenge his father about bribing Merlin, to tell him that he washed his hands of him. He hadn't wanted to give Merlin up to Uther though, not without confronting him first; he was sure he could talk calmly about it now having sated his anger _and his lust_ last night.

When there was a knock at the door five minutes later Arthur assumed it must be Morgana and took his own sweet time answering the summons. When he found Merlin outside he nearly dropped to his knees in relief, swinging the door wide to allow Merlin access to the flat whilst keeping maximum distance between them. "What do you want?" Despite having been trying to seek Merlin out earlier, being overly pleased to see him and having resolved to get answers, Arthur couldn't help the aggressive tone. He wanted to hear what Merlin had to say by way of explanation for taking money off Uther, but he didn't want his ex to know that he was praying for a logical explanation.

"Erm...I've been walking around the block for about an hour plucking up the courage to come and see you," Merlin was biting his lip nervously. "I, er, wouldn't blame you if you told me where to go."

"I'm tempted," Arthur lied with a grimace. "If I did that I would never get an explanation then would I? Just sit down." He waved his hand towards the sofa and watched cautiously as Merlin gingerly sat down and began to fidget.

Arthur looked expectantly at Merlin who looked back at him with wide blue eyes. Neither boy spoke. Arthur enjoyed drinking in this version of Merlin, heck _any version of Merlin,_ lest this be the last time. _Please don't let this be the last time._

Finally Merlin broke the silence, "I suppose you want to know about the money?"

"You suppose correct."

Merlin took a deep breath, "That day I caught you with _her,_ before it all kicked off, your father came to see me and tried to warn me off you. He called me a dirty faggot, said I was leading you astray – as if anyone could lead _you_ astray..." he laughed bitterly.

"How the hell did he know -?" Arthur couldn't help the interruption. He'd been so careful to cover their tracks.

"No idea, but he knew everything Arthur. He knew I slept in your room most nights and when I didn't that you slept at mine. He knew you were planning to leave and move in with me..." Merlin ran a nervous hand through his unkempt locks. "Then he offered me money to break it off with you and leave town."

"So you just took it?" bile rose in Arthur's throat. He had meant so little to his boyfriend that he would accept a bribe to leave him? Is that why he hadn't stuck around to fight for him?

"No. I said I didn't want it. He...he went crazy, threw stuff across the room – he wrecked one of Mum's antique vases -"

"Did he hurt you?" Arthur couldn't believe what he was hearing; his own father trying to pay off his boyfriend, intimidating him...

"He never laid a finger on me, don't worry."

"So why'd you take it Merlin? I know money was tight for you but you had me, we were together..."

"I just wanted him out of the house and away from me. Mum was expected home shortly; how would I explain Uther to her? I didn't want her caught up with it!" Merlin jumped to his feet and paced. "I just took the cheque off him to get rid of him and agreed to his terms, I couldn't think of anything other than getting rid of him at that point." He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out his wallet, and from there a crumpled piece of paper which he handed to Arthur.

Arthur unfolded it and his eyes widened; it was the cheque for £50,000 dated four years ago. "Why?"

"After he'd gone I realised I had to tell you what had happened, but I was worried about your reaction. Your own father tried to bribe me to split us up; you were going to be so _hurt_. So I mulled over it all day, finally deciding to tell you and show you the cheque...but when I got to your place..." Accusing blue eyes glared at Arthur. "I never hated anyone so much as I did you in that moment."

Arthur's old friend and companion, the guilt monster, kicked up a frenzy inside of his chest. He couldn't blame Merlin for hating him. He hated himself most of the time. "You kept the cheque?"

If Merlin noticed his deflection he didn't show it. "I had no intention of cashing it. I just...kept it." He took the cheque back off Arthur and tore it into tiny pieces, letting them fall to the floor at their feet. "Your father is so ridiculously rich he never even noticed I didn't cash the fucking thing."

"You're not wrong," Arthur agreed, his heart lightened at Merlin's words. He had not taken the money, there _was_ an explanation. He had no reason not to believe Merlin when the evidence was there in bits at his feet. "So why did you take the cheque yesterday?"

Merlin sighed. "Morbid curiosity. I wanted to see how far he would go to keep us apart."

"He didn't need to bribe you though did he Merlin? We managed to keep ourselves apart from each other perfectly well without his help."

*****

"I'm sorry...for what I did. I wanted to hurt you. All I did was hurt myself – and Gwen," Merlin let the apology slide off his tongue, but he knew it wasn't enough. He wanted to go to Arthur, slip his arms around him; tell him he loved him and that he would do anything... How could he though? Sure, Arthur was all wounded pride and hurt now; but did anything ever touch his heart?

He was surprised at how calm Arthur was being over this whole accepting bribes from his father thing. All Merlin could surmise was that the calmness ultimately meant that he didn't care enough to get angry any more. He'd been angry last night, but now he'd had chance to sleep on it he seemed unperturbed.

"Right, well now you know." He opened his wallet again and threw the second cheque at Arthur. "I'll be out of your hair."

As he turned to the door Arthur's hand snaked out and grabbed Merlin's wrist. "Don't go."

A faint seed of hope unfurled in Merlin's stomach as his wrist began to tingle at Arthur's touch. Arthur drew Merlin into him and planted a kiss on his temple. "I need to know..." whispered Arthur into Merlin's ear. "...if there is any chance for us after this."

Merlin's head span; after all that had happened this last week, after his own plotting and scheming and Uther's untimely interference Arthur still wanted him? Did this mean he wanted them to be together? Merlin felt himself soften as Arthur held him in a questioning embrace. Could he allow himself the luxury of falling into him? He wanted to, _fuck_, how he wanted to. If he had learnt anything over the last couple of days it was that he loved Arthur Pendragon; why else would the man have such a hold over him? Love and hate were two sides of the same coin were they not? He needed more answers, he was older now, wiser, he couldn't just blindly submit to this..._obsession_.

He pulled back from Arthur, putting the width of the room between them. Fixing Arthur with his blue eyed curiosity he asked, "_Why did you just let me go_?" He watched the guilt flicker into Arthur's eyes. "If you cared so bloody much for me, why didn't you come for me?" He had waited, so willing to forgive the boy he loved of the transgression, missing him more than he hated him, until slowly time had passed and the hatred had crept around his heart and sealed it away behind a cold stone wall. If only Arthur had tried he would have found Merlin with ease, they could have been saved four years of misery; for Merlin was willing to admit to himself now that the intervening years without Arthur had been a kind of hell. Yes, he'd built a successful career and yes he had been happy in many ways, but the hole in heart, behind the wall, had beat only for Arthur. Gwen had never stood a chance. Did he want to knock down the barriers and let Arthur back in?

"I wanted to Merlin, but I was so ashamed of what had happened. I couldn't face you. You couldn't possibly have hated me as much as I hated myself." Arthur's eyes filled with unshed tears. "I can't even blame you for leading me on this week; I fucking deserved it. I know I'm asking a lot, for a second chance... Merlin – I _love_ you. I never stopped."

Merlin wanted to believe Arthur's words. He just didn't know if he could let Arthur back in and trust him again. He wanted to... "Arthur I -"

He was cut off by a loud hammering in the door. "Arthur! Are you there sweetie?"

Arthur threw Merlin an apologetic confused look as he strode to the door and flung it open.

"Arthur sweetie, I've missed you!" cried the red head as she hurled herself at Arthur and planted a wet kiss upon his surprised lips.

Arthur's face was a picture of shock and guilt as he shoved his visitor off him and turned to Merlin. "It's not what it seems," he croaked.

Merlin didn't want to hear it and had already shoved his way past _Sophia_ and was in the hallway, shouting over his shoulder as he left, "Fuck you Pendragon!"

*****

**A/N: Oh dear. What was Merlin going to say before the wicked witch arrived? Only a couple more chapters now folks... I know I am being mean but it's coming together I swear.**

**Please review. x**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/M: Merlin and Arthur in the Colin and Bradley incarnation belong to the BBC. So cruel.**

**OK folks, this is it... I hope it's what you wanted :-) **

**Chapter 15**

Arthur watched in horror as events unfolded before his eyes in some kind of slow motion. It seemed that one moment Merlin was about to – _he hoped_ – tell him that they had a chance together, then the next bloody Sophia was at the door and Merlin was running. Again. He wasn't going to let this happen again, not when he'd almost got Merlin back.

"Sophia, _what the fuck_?" growled Arthur, glaring at the redhead.

He was rewarded with a shrug and a pout. _Screw this_. Brushing past her he ran after Merlin; the other boy couldn't have gotten too far. Down the stairs, out into the cold air of the square, frantically assessing the possible routes Merlin might have taken.

"Merlin!" Arthur hoped if he was near he would hear and give him a chance to explain. Though what he was explaining wasn't entirely clear. Where the hell had Sophia crawled out from? Arthur never saw the blasted woman outside of the office. She had the worst timing in the world...why would she be putting in an appearance now – coincidence? "_Merlin!_"

Dismissing that line of thought Arthur pulled his attention back to finding Merlin. He called out to him for a third time, his voice echoing around the empty square in desperation.

"I'm over here," Arthur span round and found Merlin was crouched against the wall next to the entrance to his flat, which meant he had just walked past him and that Merlin had been watching him frantically calling for him. "Are you still shagging her?"

"What? NO. I never was." Arthur sighed heavily, "Merlin, please come back inside. There's nothing going on I swear."

"I'm supposed to believe that am I?" Merlin stood up and walked over to Arthur so that they were toe to toe. "Tell me the truth." He fixed Arthur with such a look of mistrust that the blond wanted to scream. He sincerely hoped he wasn't back at square one again.

Arthur stroked the Merlin's cheek, leaning in and nibbling his lower lip before kissing him gently, feeling bereft when Merlin pulled back. "Believe that I love you."

Merlin looked as though he wanted to argue, looking into Arthur's eyes if trying to pull out his soul. He must have seen something there; he nodded slowly, chewing his lip for a moment before leaning back in and placing both hands below Arthur's ears, pulling him in for a kiss. Arthur responded with an easy fervour, closing the gap between them, his hands on Merlin's hips pulling him close. He wasn't sure how long they were there, lost in each other; Merlin began to shiver and it dawned on Arthur that it was a cold December evening.

Reluctantly breaking the kiss he took Merlin's hand, entwining their fingers. "Come on; let's see what the witch wants – _together_."

"Arthur I don't know..."

"We need to do this Merlin. I don't know why she's here. It's _Christmas Day_. I haven't seen her since...well, for a long time. I smell a rat."

"I...OK." Merlin let Arthur lead him back inside where they found Sophia lounging on the sofa watching EastEnders, her high heeled shoes kicked off in the middle of the floor.

Arthur turned the TV off. "Hey! I was watching that."

Gesturing for Merlin to take a seat, Arthur rounded on Sophia, "What. Are. You. Doing. Here?"

"Well I must say, that's a bit rude."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

She rolled her eyes, "I came to see you of course, what a ridiculous question."

"Right. So although we're _not_ friends, nor _anything else_ other than, tenuously, work colleagues...you thought it a good idea to pay me a visit on Christmas Day? Are you carol singing perhaps? Maybe you're playing Santa – in which case _where is your bloody beard_?" Arthur could feel himself getting increasingly angry with the woman.

Another pout, "I just wanted to see you Arthur, what's wrong with that?"

"It's..." began Arthur.

"Did Uther Pendragon put you up to this?" said Merlin from the sofa.

"You must be Merlin...? I can see Arthur isn't going to bother introducing us. I hear you're an actor. I'm not into films. I prefer reality TV. Have you ever met Paris Hilton?"

"Yes I have," Merlin acknowledged with a roll of his own eyes. "So how much did he pay you?"

"What? Who?" spluttered the redhead, suddenly taking on the appearance of a rabbit in the headlights in Arthur's - now very suspicious - mind.

Merlin stood up then and approached Sophia, "Cut the crap ginger," he snarled with a new found fury, and if Arthur hadn't realised he was channelling his acting skills he might have been a little scared of him himself. "Uther sent you didn't he?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she scoffed, shooting a wary glance at Arthur and shrinking back against the sofa. "Can't a girl pay her boyfriend a visit on Christmas?"

"OK, now I know you're full of shit," Merlin leaned down and grabbed her shoes from the floor and threw them onto the sofa next to her. "Time you were going." Arthur was quite impressed with this fierce confident Merlin; and a little turned on truth be told.

Sophia seemed to deflate. Sliding her shows back on she got to her feet, choosing to address Arthur, "Look, Arthur... _Please_ don't tell Uther. He'll fire me and I need that job!"

So Merlin had connected the right dots. Uther had sent Sophia. How could he have known Merlin would be at his place, or did that not matter? He thought he'd pay Merlin off and then send Sophia as an insurance policy to make sure Merlin didn't get any ideas? Why Sophia anyhow? Uther couldn't know about his _dalliance_ with her before... _Fucking hell_.

If Uther had sent Sophia to finish the job this time – _had he done the same four years ago?_ Arthur felt the blood rush to his head and had to sit down quickly. He dropped his head to his knees and rubbed his head. Could it be true? Had his father set him up?

*****

The truth hit Merlin like a freight train. He knew then that the last four years of hating Arthur, of them being apart, was a situation engineered by a selfish man who wanted to keep his son for himself. Why hadn't he seen it before? First the man tries to pay off the undesirable boyfriend, and to seal the deal he somehow arranges for the unwanted lover to find the love of his life in a compromising situation, thus ensuring his departure from Camelot and the life of his lover.

How could he have fallen for it? How could Arthur?

"How did you do it?" he asked Sophia as she was about to sidle out the door. "Last time... What did you do?" He sank onto the sofa besides Arthur and slid a protective arm around him as the other man sat with his head on his knees.

Sophia hesitated, "I'll lose my job."

"I think that will be the least of your worries if you don't fess up," threatened Merlin blankly, knowing that if she chose not to comply then the threat was an empty one. He didn't need to hear this for himself, but Arthur deserved to know.

"I micked him. At after work drinks. He passed out and we – Valiant and I - got him in a taxi..." Unable to meet Merlin's eyes she stared at her toes. "Val kept watch for your arrival and then I – you know the rest."

Merlin did know the rest. _He knew the next four years_. "Why?" He rubbed Arthur's back, feeling the rage emanating from his muscular frame.

"Money. Uther paid me well."

"Thank you. Now – GET OUT." Sophia didn't need telling twice and was out of the door without so much as a 'sorry'.

This was huge. It had all been for nothing. Four years without Arthur. Trying to get his own back on Arthur when he hadn't even done anything; in fact he's been _abused._ Drugged and taken advantage of.

"Arthur, are you OK?" Merlin sank to his knees and shuffled up to Arthur, placing a hand on his thigh and stroking his hair with the other. "Arthur...look at me please."

A broken Arthur met Merlin's concerned gaze, eyes bright with unshed tears. Merlin pulled him into a hug, shimmying himself between Arthur's thighs. After a few minutes he said, "I'm sorry Merlin."

"What for? We were both set up. _I'm_ sorry your father hated me so much."

"It wasn't about you, it was about controlling me, keeping me where he wanted me. I don't know how he knew about us, probably had me followed – that'd be something he'd do..." He gently pulled out of Merlin's embrace and ran a jagged hand through his blond mane.

Merlin wanted to be closer, wanted to comfort this man he loved so much. He tentatively sat beside him and ran a nervous hand along Arthur's thigh. Arthur groaned and pulled Merlin onto his lap and kissed him. Merlin sank into the kiss with a contented sigh. He felt like he was where he belonged at last; safe in the knowledge that Arthur had never cheated on him.

Arthur broke the kiss and ran a shaking hand down Merlin's cheek. "I need to explain," he said. "I'm sorry I believed it. I went for that after work drink and let her flirt with me, I'd had a few and I enjoyed it; but that's all it was. When I later woke up and someone was giving me a blow job, I thought for a minute it was you and I let myself enjoy it. To open my eyes and find it was _her_ and that you were there witnessing it all – _fucking hell Merlin_ – I didn't remember how I had got there, but I never once doubted that I had done it... I thought I'd had too many to drink and... I felt so ashamed, so guilty that I had cheated on you even if I didn't remember doing it!"

"Arthur it's OK. How could you be expected to immediately realise that someone had spiked your drink?"

Arthur nodded, seeming to accept Merlin's words. "So what happens now?" He fixed him with a questioning look and Merlin could see hope shining through. "What were you going to say...before she turned up?"

Smiling Merlin moved to straddle Arthur's lap, leaning forward he whispered, "I was going to say...I love you."

"Thank fuck for that," muttered Arthur, the relief evident in his voice.

"What are you going to do about your father?"

"He can wait. All I can think about right now is you." Merlin's heart beat faster as Arthur kissed him again. This was it; this was home, where he belonged. He didn't care where they went or what they did, as long as they had each other everything would perfect.

*****

As Arthur kissed Merlin, tracing circles over his favourite part of him; his hipbones, he felt whole once more. This beautiful man was his again; he always had been. He felt as though the weight of the world had lifted, he hadn't cheated on Merlin, and it had been Merlin who had figured it out before he had. The dark haired angel who was kissing him stupid had been about to let him back in even before Sophia had interrupted. That spoke volumes to Arthur, that Merlin had been willing to let him back still believing the worst of him.

"I missed you so much," Arthur whispered, his words hitching in his throat. _"I'm not me without you_."

*****

**A/N: Not quite the end, there will be a final chapter/epilogue to say goodbye as I will miss these two. Do you want fluff (as if the above wasn't enough)? Smut? Or a combination? How should Uther get his? Open to any suggestions at this point that don't end up with Merlin and Arthur in the slammer.**

**Congratulations to **_**Kittendragon**_** who correctly guessed that Uther had paid Sophia to turn up. The only part of the story that stuck has been that it was Uther all along, the big old meanie! Arthur loves Merlin too much to really cheat. (Aw!)**

**Reviews are like waking up thinking it's Monday and then realising it's Saturday – bloody fantastic!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/M: Merlin does not belong to me. I'm suing. **

**Final chapter (sob!); going to miss my this story. **

**I totally forgot about the random facts half way through, so for the last chapter here's one: I was pulled over by the police last week for driving the wrong way down a one way street – outside the police station! **

**This chapter is kind of mixed POV, hopefully not confusing though.**

**Chapter 16**

"That went well – right? Oh God, it did didn't it?" Arthur bit his lower lip and looked at Merlin expectantly, his blue eyes exhilarated. They had just returned from filming an interview on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross; Merlin had been on once before but this was Arthur's first 'official' TV interview.

Merlin had to laugh at Arthur's uncharacteristic uncertainty, watching with amused eyes as the blonde paced a hole in the hotel room carpet. "Arthur, you were perfect, relax." He snaked out a hand and grabbed his boyfriend's wrist to still him, using his other hand to cup Arthur's chin, running his thumb gently over his lips. "You looked perfect, you sounded perfect and, well, you're just damned perfect all over really...they loved you." He pressed a kiss into Arthur's palm.

Arthur visibly relaxed and pulled Merlin in for a deep kiss. "I think they loved you more," he murmured as he came up for air.

"I've been doing this for longer that's all. It comes with the job." Not liking the broken contact he leant in to continue the kiss, exploring Arthur's mouth with his tongue, knowing this was something he would never get tired of.

"Break it up now boys; we've got to get down to the junket."

Merlin sighed and reluctantly stepped away from Arthur, "Remind me again why I gave you this job?"

Morgana grinned, "Because I'm unbelievably efficient and a just little scary and you need me to keep you in line."

"More like because Arthur likes having you around so much," he rubbed his jaw and glared at her. "I still haven't forgiven you for lamping me."

Morgana shrugged, "You deserved it."

Merlin rolled his eyes, knowing she was right about all of it. He had taken her on as his PA because Arthur convinced him there could be no one better, and because it pissed off Uther; and he had deserved it that time she had punched him, and he would never tell her but he admired the way she had waded in to protect Arthur. Anyone who loved Arthur that much was OK with him.

"Now," she began. "Everything is set up downstairs; each interviewer gets five minutes. They've been primed not to ask about personal stuff, it's all about the movie. If they try anything untoward they will be asked to leave."

Merlin heard Arthur groan. He was hating being in the spotlight. He hadn't minded it so much when it was Merlin in the spotlight and Arthur was on the sidelines as his boyfriend; sure the press had a field day with their relationship and stalked the pair of them everywhere, calling them 'Merthur'. Everyone wanted a piece of them, and even after two years the fascination had not died.

Now Arthur was a celebrity in his own right, having won the Orange Award for New Writers last week for his first book. He had also appeared with Merlin in his latest film, 'Elusive', in a non speaking role as the distant object of Merlin's character's obsession. Merlin had talked him and the director into using Arthur for the role because Arthur would be on set with Merlin the whole time anyway, and because the film was a low budget indie flick that Merlin had desperately wanted to do the moment the script had landed in his lap.

"Do I have to?" whined Arthur. "This was a one off. I'm not going to do any 'acting' again – not that you could call it that this time!"

Morgana adopted her stern no nonsense face, "Arthur if you're not out that door in thirty seconds I'll..."

Arthur was out the door in ten. He knew better than to try to argue with Morgana and the stern look. Merlin followed, a huge grin plastered on his face, seeking out Arthur's hand and giving is a reassuring squeeze.

Merlin kept his hand entwined with Arthur's for the whole junket.

*****

"I look fat," complained Arthur with a groan as he and Merlin snuggled together on the sofa in their Welsh cottage watching their appearance on Jonathan Ross.

Merlin smothered a smirk, "Yeah you do a bit," he agreed, waiting for the backlash. "It must be all that chocolate you've been eating."

"What? I have not. _Really_?" he lifted up his t-shirt and looked down at his perfectly toned stomach with a frown.

"Yeah. I think you need to work out more," Merlin teased, trying to suppress a giggle at the serious look on Arthur's face. He reached over and smoothed a hand over Arthur's abdomen, sliding a finger just under the waistband and round to where the curve of his buttocks began, and pinched gently. "Hmm, definitely more than an inch there..." The giggle slipped out.

"You _idiot_ Merlin!" Arthur flipped Merlin then, managing to pin him to the sofa and capture both of his hands above his head. "Perhaps I'd better have a _workout_ now then huh?" He smashed his lips with Merlin's and plunged his tongue inside to commence the usual battle for dominance which Arthur knew he would win today.

Merlin's hips bucked up, his instant erection grinding against Arthur's, his blue eyes no longer amused but filled with lust. "I think that's an excellent idea," he groaned as Arthur released his lips and started nibbling his ears which Arthur had long since decided were so prominent simply because Merlin turned to jelly if Arthur swirled his tongue behind them. He did so now and Merlin bit back a moan and broke one of his hands free so that he could divest Arthur of his t-shirt.

Together they slowly rid each other of their clothing, Arthur planting kisses on each newly exposed part of Merlin, totally ignoring his straining cock as he kissed his inner thigh, causing Merlin to thread his fingers into Arthur's hair and tug him back for another kiss, wrapping his legs around Arthur's waist and finding friction as their cocks rubbed together.

Merlin slid a hand between their bodies and pumped himself and Arthur, grateful for his long fingers. "Fuck me Arthur," moaned Merlin, guiding Arthur's hand to his mouth so he could suck his fingers.

"Are you sure you want to fuck the fat guy?" teased Arthur as he grabbed a cushion and eased it under Merlin's arse, Merlin obligingly shifting to accommodate.

"I'll still want you to fuck me when you're old, bald _and_ fat."

"You're so romantic Merlin."

"Just get on with it; I want you inside me whilst we're still on the telly so I can watch two of you."

"Mmm, kinky!"

Merlin took Arthur's fingers into his mouth and proceeded to lavish attention upon them as if they were Arthur's cock. After a minute Arthur moved his laved digits to Merlin's opening. Merlin sighed in pleasure as Arthur started with two fingers, his eyes fixed on Arthur's face the whole time, loving his concentration as he stretched him. It wasn't long before Merlin was ready for more. Arthur leaned in to kiss Merlin, tongue fucking his mouth for a minute before sitting back on his haunches and manoeuvring Merlin's legs onto his shoulders, bending him in half as he aligned his cock and began to penetrate the tiny hole.

"Fuck yes!" Merlin cried longingly. "I want all of you Arthur – now!"

Without taking his eyes from Merlin's Arthur thrust his member into Merlin in one urgent motion, causing Merlin to scream at the suddenness he had just invited. He began to move immediately, pulling back out before pummelling back in again swiftly, repeating the motion, leaning in and flicking his tongue over Merlin's lips, licking the sweat that was beading on his upper lip. He kept his hands at the sides of Merlin's head, his fingers gently running through his raven locks.

"I can't...mmmngg...see the telly!" gasped Merlin between thrusts, realising he was facing the wrong direction.

"Idiot," breathed Arthur, pulling out of Merlin and twisting so that his legs were over the back of the sofa and, leaning back, he placed his hands on the floor, his head falling back with its own weight. "Ride me."

Merlin grinned and straddled Arthur, lowering himself onto his cock slowly. "I can see two of you," he smirked. "_So hot_." He began to move up and down Arthur's cock as Arthur pumped upwards to meet him, lifting his head so he could watch as Merlin began to fist himself; Merlin's eyes flicking between the Arthur beneath him, the one slowly coming undone inside of him, and the other perfectly groomed version exuding sex appeal over the airwaves as he sat beside an almost as well groomed TV Merlin; his hair never behaved.

"Faster Arthur! Mm, fuck me harder."

Arthur obliged. "You like that?" he asked, shifting himself slightly and angling his hips so that he could be sure to hit Merlin's prostate, feeling mildly smug when Merlin threw his head back and screamed in pleasure.

"Aaaagh," Merlin cried, his hand tightening around his cock, knowing he was about to come and wanting to prolong it as long as possible. "Arthur, Arthur, Arthur..." he began to chant, flicking a quick glance at TV Arthur before returning his attention to real, sweaty, dishevelled Arthur, hoping to see his face as he came.

"Let go Merlin," rasped Arthur. "Come all over me."

Merlin loved it when Arthur asked for this, pumping his cock one final time he came over both of them, Arthur's name on his lips, resisting closing his eyes so that he could watch Arthur, knowing that he wouldn't last long now. Sure enough, Arthur reacted to Merlin's orgasm giving in to his own, his head falling back as he released his seed inside his boyfriend, "_Mer_lin!"

Arthur's arms almost gave out on him and realising this Merlin leaned forward and pulled him into his arms, turning so that they collapsed in a heap on the sofa, Merlin on top of Arthur.

"Gods Arthur, I love you," Merlin sighed, snuggling into the blonde, totally sated, feeling sleepy. "Even if you are fat."

"Oi," laughed Arthur, wanting to hit Merlin with a cushion but finding his arms wouldn't move. "Love you too."

*****

"It's not fair," complained Morgana with a pout. "Just because I'm a girl I don't get to play."

Merlin shot his PA a confused look, "What are you being so dramatic about now Morg?"

"The wedding, obviously," she said. Merlin thought she might as well have added 'duh' but her tone did it for her.

"What about the wedding?" Arthur had proposed to Merlin the previous week by writing 'Will you marry me?' on Rhossili Beach in pebbles, knowing it was cheesy enough to please Merlin without being too over the top. Merlin had launched himself at Arthur in glee and both men had ended up very wet and covered in seaweed.

Merlin had said yes without even bothering to pretend he was thinking about it.

The news had yet to hit the press, for which both Arthur and Merlin were grateful, they hoped to get married very quietly, and very soon.

"I should be Arthur's best man," Morgana elaborated and took a sip of her champagne. They were at a small gathering at Merlin and Arthur's London flat to celebrate.

Merlin laughed, "Right. Well you never know – it's not exactly going to be a conventional wedding anyway."

"Who's going to be yours?"

"Will of course."

Morgana frowned. "Are you going to invite Uther?"

"No we fecking well are not," said Arthur, joining the conversation after prying himself away from Lance and Gwen. Gwen had made contact with Lance off her own bat a couple of months after their first meeting, and their relationship was going strong.

"Are you sure?" Morgana asked, but even she was not on good terms with her step father after finding out what he had pulled on Merlin and Arthur.

Arthur had not spoken to his father since the day he left Camelot with Merlin. He hadn't even confronted him, merely making sure that he was aware that Arthur was leaving _with Merlin_. Merlin's Mum had ceased her animosity the moment she realised Merlin and Arthur were making a go of it. The men avoided Camelot, but made sure that Hunith visited them as much as she wanted to.

They had banked the £100,000 cheque and donated the money to Shelter before Uther had chance to realise what was going on.

"I'm sure," said Arthur sadly. "He tried to manipulate us both and he nearly kept Merlin and me apart forever. The best punishment for him is losing me – and you Morg. With me gone, all the expectations would have passed to you."

"OK," Morgana squeezed Arthur's hand; she knew he still hurt over his father's betrayal, but could understand why he wouldn't want anything to do with him. She knew that Uther had tried to make contact on numerous occasions, each time to be met with a brick wall. She was not too inclined to speak to him herself at the moment, but she did let him know how Arthur was doing, and she knew the separation was killing him.

"So, back to the wedding," she smiled coyly at her step-brother.

"Yes Morgana, you can be my 'best man'," sighed Arthur, almost losing his footing as she flung herself into his arms with a delighted squeal. "You do realise that as my best man you have to be wedding planner as well?" Another squeal; Morgana loved that shit.

As Morgana skipped away to tell anyone she could find Merlin turned to Arthur, "Are you _certain_ you want to do this?"

"I'm _certain_ that I never want to spend a day without you again, so yes Merlin, I want to do this. I love you."

"You make me so horny when you're like this," whispered Merlin leaning into Arthur's ear. "Do you think they'll notice if we sneak off for a while?"

"Who cares if they do?" Arthur grabbed Merlin by the wrist and dragged him into the nearest empty room, which happened to be his office where he did all his writing.

Pushing Merlin against the door he turned the key in the door and said, "I don't think we've christened that desk yet...." and with a glint in his eye he lifted up Merlin and proceeded to create a new memory.

_The End_

*****

**A/N: I hope that had a bit of everything for everyone. I'm sure I would have been put off by Jonathan Ross's face during the sex if it were me (can't stand the man)! Oh, and if this were 2 years later I guess this show wouldn't be on anymore seeing as he's leaving but I don't care.**

**I really wanted to make Uther pay big time but it didn't sit with their personalities. I rather liked LimoFatig's suggestion that 'He should wake up with a male stripper giving him a blowjob in front of a Times photographer or something even more mean,' but I didn't feel mean enough today!**

**Thank you all so much for reading my first attempt at ArthurxMerlin slash. Thank you for reviewing also; more are always welcome!**

**xx**


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